Hey guys – I’m Dan. I’ve teamed up with Ditch the Label to answer some of guys’ most asked questions on the internet so you don’t have to spend hours trawling Reddit and Google for dating advice that probably won’t actually work.

So sit back, and let me tell you how to do everything from getting a girlfriend to dealing with a bad break up. This post not quite what you’re looking for? Take a look at the Lynx hub on Ditch the Label to find out more

Looking for someone 

Well, first off you gotta find the right person for you. I know you aren’t going to go up to any random girl in the street and ask her out, but it’s important to look for the right person if you want something that lasts. You need to have stuff in common, be able to get on well, and both be willing to put the work in. 

Try hanging out with someone in a friendly way, outside of school/uni/work or wherever you met them. You could see if your mates could help you out with this by getting a bit of a group together and inviting her and her mates too. A group situation takes the pressure off, and you can see a bit more of what they are really like in a social situation.

Also, you gotta do you as well – be yourself. If you try to be anyone else, she will quickly see through it, and you’ll only end up feeling miserable anyway. Yourself is the best. 

Making the first move

If you’ve gotten to know them a bit and think you guys could hit it off, this next bit is probably the scariest of them all. Trust me when I say, literally everyone is nervous of this one – you are not alone.

First off, you gotta stay calm. Try making sure you are in a nice setting, where you both feel comfortable and can chat in private. Keep breathing as well dude – you don’t wanna be panicking now. 

Start off by saying you’ve loved getting to know her, you think she is awesome and you would like to see where things might go if you guys tried seeing each other exclusively. Keep it chill, but complimentary. 

Making something last

So you’ve made it this far, and you’ve got the yes! That’s awesome! Well there are a few things you need to know about relationships to make them last. First off, you gotta be present. You have someone else in your life now who wants to spend time with you, so you might have to train yourself to turn off the PS4 and put your phone down when they are around. 

Keep the communication going all the time, so if you want a little space, be nice about it and say you are hanging out with your mates but you’ll call them later. And actually call them. Similarly, don’t play the who texted last game with them. You guys are in a relationship now, and that literally could not matter less. For more – read this article on 10 things you need to know for the most awesome relationship.

Being shy can be awesome. Some of the most amazing people in history were famously pretty introverted. Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Dr Seuss, Barack Obama, Steve Wozniak.

Shy people have proven time and time again that they can rule the world when they put their mind to it, so you definitely have the power to ask a girl out. You got this man, and we’ve got your back all the way. 

Check out the Lynx Hub on Ditch the Label here for more from me, and loads of other stuff on relationships, dating, confidence and more.

We caught up with Lily Scott from The Undateables

DtL: Hi Lily! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Lily: I am 19 and I have Williams Syndrome which means I learn slowly. Sometimes I struggle in social situations because I try to be so friendly and other people think it is weird that I am so friendly to them! I go to college and my course is called Independent Life Skills so I am learning how to be independent. I live with my mum, my dog and my cat. One day I would like to live independently. I like to paint my nails, go to Speedway with my dad, have sleepovers with my sister and go on ghost hunts. I am a happy person but I can be sad and I worry a lot. This is because I have Williams Syndrome.

DtL: What was it like going on The Undateables?
Lily: Going on The Undateables was really good fun. I liked being on TV and filming for the show was fun. Going on a date gave me lots of confidence and it has taught me how to speak to people who I don’t know very well. I would like to go on more dates and meet new people.

“Going on The Undateables was really good fun”

 

DtL: Have you ever experienced bullying? 
Lily: I don’t think I have been properly bullied, you know like properly. It’s just when people use bad language or look at me funny that I don’t like it. It makes me feel uncomfortable and sad and I think they’re rude.

DtL: What motto do you live by?
Lily: Don’t bottle it up. Good things take time!

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DtL: What advice would you give to others living with Williams Syndrome?
Lily: This is difficult. It’s important to listen to the people who love you, because they can keep you safe. Sometimes my sister tells me not to speak to some people if she thinks they are not kind and I do not like it when she tells me what to do, but I know I have to listen to her because she cares. Sometimes if I am feeling sad I do not want to go out to college or my youth club, but it’s important that I do go so that I don’t get lonely. So I would tell people with Williams Syndrome to keep socialising with the right people.

DtL: What is your perspective on true love?
Lily: It is hard to find true love! I would like to find true love. I think it would feel very happy. It’s difficult for me to find true love, I need help meeting new people because I struggle with reading and writing and using the Internet, which means it is tricky for me to date and organise dates. Most people do this easily. I know that I will find someone one day. Everyone deserves to be loved.

“Listen to the people who love you, make sure you do this, even if they annoy you”

 

DtL: What do you think about Ditch the Label?
Lily: I think Ditch the Label is an incredible charity. They give great advice which everyone should listen to. They are inspiring and encourage people to be who they really are.

DtL: What advice would you give to those who might be experiencing bullying right now?
Lily: I would say don’t get involved, walk away, don’t put yourself into danger. Speak to somebody, always make sure you go to a person and then they can help you. If you can’t tell somebody using words then write it down or draw it. Listen to the people who love you, make sure you do this, even if they annoy you. They are only annoying because they love you. It is not your fault that you are being bullied and you do not deserve it.

DtL: Is there anything you would to add?
Lily: Social media can make people feel really sad. I would like to say that when you look at other people’s pages on social media, don’t feel sad, because I’ve learnt that a lot of it is fake and not true.

love, couple, bff

10 things that happen when your BFF finds a significant other

Prepare to feel awkward like, 99% of the time.

1. You pretend to stare intently at nothing to avoid creepin’ on their PDA. 

2. The film you’d usually go and see with your BFF – well, they’ve already seen it with their significant other. Netflix it is. 

3.  This becomes a regular conversation:

BFF: Don’t worry – you’ll meet someone soon too.
You: I’m actually pretty happy being single.
BFF: *Pitiful smile* Of course you are!

4. When your BFF actually manages to take some time out of their schedule to spend time with you, you want to introduce a ‘no phone’ policy:

5. But then, even when they aren’t messaging or ringing their significant other, they’re talking about them. Incessantly. All the time. Forever. 

6. When they fight, your BFF comes crying to you. To show your loyalty you call their significant other every name under the sun (even though you don’t really mean it – well most of it) and then the next day they are back together like nothing ever happened and you’re just there feelin’ like a total backstabbing biatch. 

7. When they argue in front of you though…*finds self staring intently at nothing again*

8. The feels when they start hanging out with other couples:  

giphy-14

9. The moment you realise they tell their significant other everything – and I mean everything. Your secrets are no longer safe but it’s okay right? Because your BFF reassures you they are like, so totally trustworthy. 

10. The inevitable post-honeymoon-period realisation that your BFF misses you and that you need to hang out more, without significant other in tow.