It’s that time of year again. All the shops are filled with gigantic cards covered in love hearts and sickeningly sweet messages to be sent to the person you love most in the world. But what do you do if you don’t really know where you stand?
So it turns out that there is a name for this. It’s called a situationship, and it is basically a relationship without the label. Now you know us, we are all about ditching the labels that define us as humans. But when you don’t know if the person you spend most of the time with actually feels the same about you, how do you handle it?
Want to know if you’re in one? Take this quiz to find out!
Try not to overthink
Situationships can be great if you are both feeling like you don’t want to commit to a full on relationship, especially the pressures that come with them. When it’s all basically like hanging out with a best friend that you hook up with occasionally, it’s hard to see what could possibly go wrong. But as soon as that balance gets thrown off, it can be an anxiety-inducing mess for the person who wants to move things along.
If you are in a situationship and you think that you might want something more, try not to overthink. Every detail of what they say, do or don’t do can become fair game for your mind to pick over. For tips on how to not overthink, read this article.
Think about what you want
The thing with this type of non-relationship, is that they can change pretty quickly for good or bad. The best thing to do is to take some time to yourself and really consider what you might want out of it. Do you want a relationship when they don’t? Maybe it’s the other way around? Do you want something casual? Will you be able to stay friends if the situation changes and you are no longer hooking up? These are all things you might want to have a bit of a think about.
Try putting them down on paper and weigh up what you really want out of it. If you are happy for now, then put them away somewhere and forget about them. But when the time comes to think about your future with or without the other person (and trust us, it will) get them out and give them a read. It will help, trust us.
So you’ve decided what you want, maybe you’ve taken a little time, and now the time has come to put thoughts and feelings into action. Situationships are never that great for in-depth talking, and you probably find yourself discussing Netflix or pizza a hell of a lot more than you do anything meaningful. But, being brave and asking where this is going is not a bad thing.
Sure, maybe it won’t work out and you won’t get the answer that maybe you want this time around. We’ve all been there and you are not alone. For help getting over someone, read this article.
Need some help dealing with rejection? Read this.
Know your worth…
The most important thing in all of this is that it can be really easy to forget how valuable you are. You are an amazing person with so much to offer the world, and so much to offer a relationship if that’s what you want. When you spend a lot of time in this type of situation, it can be easy to forget that, and instead imagine that perhaps this is the closest you are ever going to get to the real deal. Well, that’s simply not true, and you need to know that.
…And know when to walk away
Finally, knowing when to call it a day can be the toughest thing of all. Situationships can give you a hell of a lot of good times, and the idea of letting go, especially when you’ve invested more emotion in it than you thought you would have, can be very difficult. But, knowing when to walk away is powerful, you deserve something amazing, and if this person can’t give it to you, it might be time to give it up and move on.
Need to talk to someone about your relationship? You can speak to one of our trained Digital Mentors here for confidential support and advice.