Consent: explained in 23 ways

Consent is always necessary for sex or sexual activity

Consent is often seen as a grey area, but really – it’s not at all. It’s very, very simple to understand. Consent is when a person agrees freely and willingly to take part in sex or sexual activity. And it really is paramount that everyone understands consent – we can’t stress this enough. If everyone clearly understands what it means and what it sounds like, then it is easy to realise when someone is giving or not giving consent.

We are going to explain 23 simple rules of consent for those who need clarification on what it means…

If someone says any of the following – then sex should not be happening

1. “No”

This isn’t code for OK, it really does mean no. And no must be heard and accepted and not questioned. Don’t keep asking. If the person said no – they mean no, so deal with it.

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2. “Nah”

It may sound a little less certain, but it still means no.

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3. “Not today”

You may have got down and flirty with them on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or even Friday. But ‘not today’ means (yep, you guessed it) NO!

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4. “I’m not really feeling it”

Remember consent can be given whenever and under any circumstances, but it can also be taken away. Just because someone said yes once, maybe even that morning, does not mean yes every time. It’s not an open invitation!

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5. “Not right now”


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6. Silence

If there is no clear yes or no and they ain’t sayin’ nothin’ – then clearly you do not have sex with them, under any circumstances.

Now if any of the following are said, there is consent – so whey… Permission to crack on

7. “Yes”

Basic English skills here – this is the opposite of no and if someone says yes then you’re both in for some fun! YAY!

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8. “Sure”

Again – it means yes.

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9. “Great”

They’re keen!

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10. “Of course”

Again… You’re in luck!

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11. “Can’t wait”

… You see where this is going

12. “Let’s get it on”

… Yep, you got it.

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13. “I really want to have sex with you”

OK we’ll stop! Pretty sure you get the message loud and clear now!

Final points…

14. Don’t have sex with anyone who says any variation of no

Got it?

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15. Don’t have sex with anyone who doesn’t respond

So if they’re silent – that’s a big-fat-ginormous no!

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16. Don’t keep asking the same question over and over again

If they said no and you keep asking them, well, then you’re harassing them – you should get the message the first time.

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17. Don’t ever presume because you’ve had sex before that you are entitled to that person again

You always have to ask permission.

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18. Don’t ignore anyone’s response or silence

Be respectful.

19. If the person isn’t clear then that is also a no

So if they’re drunk and unable to articulate themselves properly then you shouldn’t take a risk and you should take that as a no otherwise you are taking advantage of the situation.

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20. Don’t presume that what someone is wearing correlates with consent

It most definitely does not. Even if they’re naked – it does not grant you permission. Comprender?

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21. Don’t use your power to ever take advantage of anyone

Under any circumstances!

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22. Don’t ever shame anyone for their decision

So if they say no, don’t disrespect them for their choice. If it’s a yes, then don’t shame them afterwards. It’s their choice and they are free to do whatever they want without being judged… Duh.

23. Just think before you do

It’s just common sense!

If you feel like you need support regarding any of the issues then our mentors are here for you!

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