Lockdown is proving to be the ultimate stress test for relationships worldwide, here’s how to make sure yours survives…
There’s no two ways about it, getting through the coronavirus pandemic is tough. Navigating relationships isn’t always easy under the best of circumstances, so if you’re having to do lockdown while separated from your bae, we’ve got your back.
We’ve compiled our top tips for keeping things sweet until we reach the other side.
Firstly, let’s get straight to this one and acknowledge that this situation is difficult, so try and manage expectations and remind yourself that there will likely be bumps along the way. The situation is stressful and many of us are living in a state of high alert, so it’s only natural for emotions to be somewhat heightened. Of course, most relationships will have arguments and disagreements under normal circumstances, but it’s how we handle conflict that is key.
Neither one of you is at fault for this crisis so allow each other some time to vent about what’s going on – a certain amount of venting is healthy and normal and doesn’t always need to be solution focussed. As a general rule of thumb, it’s best to avoid unnecessary conflict at the moment, here’s how to avoid getting into an argument.
Think about how you can still enjoy each other’s company while you are apart. Make full use of FaceTime or Houseparty so that you can see each other – being able to read each other’s expressions and body language are invaluable and reassuring. Have a regular date night where you watch a film together or listen to your favourite music and talk about everything other than coronavirus. Stay connected with all aspects of their life, ask about their friends and family and stay interested in what they are doing whether they are still working or keeping busy at home.
Try and aim for meaningful rather than excessive communication, so maybe simple but sweet ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ messages to remind each other that you care as you begin and close each day and save up some stuff for when you can properly connect. And try not to get caught up in messages being left on ‘read’ or you notice they’re online but haven’t messaged you.
Look after yourself
It’s easy to focus on wanting to keep our partners happy but remember that your wellbeing is equally as important. Take time out for yourself and follow the advice here. Don’t give yourself a hard time if you’re not constantly pining after your partner and are coping pretty well; it’s not just okay, but healthy to exist as secure and separate people outside of your relationship rather than be completely dependent on each other.
Take the time to really catch up with your own family and friends, especially if some of these have been a little neglected since you’ve been part of a couple and it’s more than okay to enjoy these other connections. Although we don’t recommend over analysing every aspect of your relationship, be honest with yourself if this time apart has potentially raised flags anywhere for you that you just can’t shake and you feel there are deep-rooted issues that can no longer be overlooked.
It may be tough but acknowledge that people react and behave differently in difficult situations and unless some seriously concerning behaviour crops up, that’s okay. Respect each other’s coping strategies as there really isn’t just one definitive way to get through this emotionally.
There will be days when you are both completely on the same page and other times when you are not, so be aware that while you might have a day when you’re feeling really positive, your partner might be struggling. Whilst being open and honest with each other about how you are feeling is key, there will be times when you feel sad and lonely so try not to get too immersed in negativity and keep reminding yourself that this isn’t a permanent situation and ultimately, solid and healthy relationships are worth holding on to.
Keep things future focussed
It’s good to be excited about when you can be back together again so start making some plans about what you can do together and where you can go. It could be as simple as getting back to your favourite eating spot, a lazy sunday together under a duvet watching Netflix or being able to book a break together.
Keeping an eye on the future can help make us feel secure and remind us that there will be an end to this situation.
When you finally meet up
A slo-mo reunion and then it’s all sunshine and roses right? Maybe not, as you’ve been through a lot and emotions will be running high, so when you are reunited it’s likely to be intense. No one can maintain such strong feelings so once the intensity and relief at finally being reunited fades, it’s completely normal to experience a crash or feel pretty overwhelmed. Ensure you speak to each other about this beforehand so you both manage expectations and be kind to each other while you readjust to your normal routines.
If you have had minor disagreements, this probably isn’t the best time to bring those up. Enjoy the moment and consider if actually, unless they are serious issues, are they even worth worrying about now? If they do need addressing, wait for things to calm before dealing with them.
Finally, remember that many couples manage successful long-distance relationships so this is achievable and it won’t be forever.
Struggling atm? We’ve got you covered with our top 10 things to remember during the Coronavirus lockdown. If you find this useful, why not check out our Coronavirus support hub in partnership with Tumblr?
You’re already smashing this lockdown thing
Seriously. Depending on where in the world you’re from, you’re now either several weeks or several months in and you’re doing it. The challenge has been long and tough and isn’t over yet, but you’re getting through this. It’s important that you don’t forget all of the progress you’ve already achieved.
Remember why we’re doing this
It’s easy enough to forget about the outside world when you’re stuck indoors, but it’s important we all remember why we’re doing this. By selflessly staying indoors and making huge personal sacrifices, we are each doing things to keep others safe and healthy. Whenever you feel the urge to leave the house, remind yourself that you are playing a huge role in preventing the spread of Coronavirus, and stay focused on the bigger picture.
This is temporary and will soon be a distant memory
Whilst the Coronavirus lockdown is your entire reality at the moment, remember that like everything, this will pass. It might feel like it’s never ending right now but there is light at the end of the tunnel. This will not go on forever.
Might feel like a weird time to feel grateful, but it’s important for your own mental health that you do focus on the things you are appreciative of. Writing down 3 things that you are grateful for at the end of the day may seem cliché but rn it’s more important than ever to focus on positives. So, what are you grateful for today? Having access to the internet? The people in your life? Sweatpants? Cause us too.
It’s perfectly normal to feel like rubbish
Nobody is exempt from having mental health and it’s perfectly normal to feel like yours is on a rollercoaster at the moment. If you’re struggling with your sleep, feeling anxious and worried or struggling to feel motivated, know that you most definitely aren’t alone – but just because you’re feeling these emotions doesn’t mean you have to stay there. Talk about your mental health and take this time out as an opportunity to form healthy routines and practices to boost your mental wellbeing. There’s more information on how to do this over on our Mental Health hub.
Be kind to yourself
Now is definitely a time to practice some self-care and to go easy on yourself. Take this time out as an opportunity for your body to rest and relax. If you feel like staying in your PJ’s all day and not showering until 7pm (can relate) then just go with it, give yourself some breathing space and don’t force productivity if you’re just not feeling it. That said, if you’re struggling every day to do the things you’d usually be able to do, there may be a bigger problem. Feel free to head over to our support forum to get a second opinion.
For some people, a period of isolation and reflection may be an opportunity to figure things out. Having more time than usual could be an opportunity to learn new skills, form healthier habits or to work on a new project or side hustle. If you’re fortunate enough to be in that kind of position, know that the probability of something like this happening again in your lifetime is very slim. Maybe “someday” is today?
Practice healthy boundaries with social media and screen time
Erm so strong probability you’re spending at least 75% of your awake time staring at a screen. If you’re floating from FaceTime to Netflix to your Tumblr dashboard without taking a break, it might be worth structuring in time away from technology – even if it’s just an hour a day, it’ll make a huge difference to your mental wellbeing. Try not to allow this situation to dictate an unhealthy relationship with tech.
Clean your timeline sis
If you’re leaving social media feeling worse about yourself than you did before you opened it, there’s a problem. Unfollow all of the accounts that make you feel like crap about yourself right now and replace them with positive, healthier influences and just observe how it starts to lift your wellbeing.
Ultimately, talk, we’re here to support you through this
Whatever you’re going through, chances are there’s loads of people also going through it. Vent, get a second opinion, ask for help, whatever it is you feel like doing. Be vocal and reach out to sources of support. Whether that’s our support forums or a loved one, don’t go through this in silence and alone.
Ditch the Label’s resident psychotherapist, Rebecca Barrie, explains the five stages of grief.
We are being bombarded daily by death rate statistics – so frequent are the updates, and so high are the numbers, that it’s easy to forget that there are human faces behind the numbers – each one being a brother/sister/son/daughter. What if someone you love is one of those who have lost their life to Covid-19? How can you mourn in the horror of the pandemic?
Death, at any point, is a difficult thing to understand but when someone we love dies suddenly and unexpectedly, grief can become complicated. One of the horrors of Covid-19, is that funerals attendance is so restricted, and funerals are important markers of our grief – a moment to begin to reflect on our loss and to share our grief and memories with loved ones. Without the opportunity to grieve with dignity, and among others, we might feel isolated in our loss and sadness.
Grief, like many of life’s difficulties, is messy and complicated. Grief is not something you can swerve – if you try, it will come back to bite you at some point. It’s important to remember that grief is normal and part of everyone’s life – at some point. Allow yourself time and space to grieve, share memories, your sadness and your despair with others, and be kind to yourself. Below I’ve listed the five common stages of grief – they won’t come as neatly ordered as this but it’s an idea of what to expect. Try and remember two things; 1. It’s okay to feel whatever you feel and 2. Share it.
For many, the first “symptoms” of grief feel like shock, or numbness – “I can’t believe he’s gone” is a common response. So over-whelmed are we by the loss, that our brains cut away our feelings to help us cope with the pain.
Once the shock gives way, we often feel anger. We are angry when we are hurt or when we are frightened and death and loss hurts us, and also scares us. Our anger wants to blame someone or something for our loss as a way of us trying to understand it. We might catch ourselves thinking or saying; “It’s the hospital’s fault, or the mother’s fault for not getting help sooner”. If we have someone, or something, to blame, it helps us in our endeavour to understand the incomprehensibility of death.
This is where we become a little bit more reflective – ‘if only we could have one more summer together’ or ‘if only I had spent more time with him”. These are moments when we want to go back in time, perhaps do things differently. A time often where we feel guilt or blame ourselves and this is normal in the grieving process – the “shoulda woulda coulda” effect.
With loss, a period of sadness or depression is an inevitability; when we reach an understanding that the person has gone, the sadness or depression kicks in and the pain can run very deep – this is a normal human response. Talking about the loss, allowing yourself to feel the pain and to think about the person you have lost, will help you, over time, come to terms with it.
This stage is where our minds integrate the concept of the loss – we understand that the person has gone, and we can start to incorporate this idea within ourselves. It’s a period of greater stability, we will still have bad days but we will also start to have good days. We understand that the person has gone, and we remain sad, but we are able to move forward and to evolve into the new reality. Acceptance is the stage where we think “Okay, she’s gone, but I think I’m going to be ok.”
9 things to help combat loneliness during lockdown.
Whew, what a time, huh? If you’re floating in and out of confusion at the moment, you’re definitely not the only one. Loneliness is one of the biggest challenges for many people during the lockdown. Being alone, or being stuck with the same people or person 24/7 really does take its toll. Here are our top tips on the things you can do to remain social during this difficult time…
You’re not alone in feeling alone
Please don’t forget this. Your bedroom might feel like the loneliest place on the planet at the moment, but most of us are in the same boat and feeling exactly what you’re feeling right now. It’s a strange irony that we’re together virtually, whilst being so physically apart.
Do all the things that make you happy
Ever been so immersed in doing something that you completely lose track of time? Scientists call this ‘the flow’: an activity that gives you so much enjoyment that the rest of the world seems to just… disappear for a while. People find their flow in different ways, some examples include: gaming, drawing/doodling, composing music, reading, writing and cooking.
If you’re isolating with others, spend quality time together
When it comes to hanging out with people, always opt for quality over quantity. It’s important to have you own space and time alone if you’re isolating with others, but also important to spend quality time together. A few social activities you could suggest include: games night, an online quiz, watching a new boxset or movie or working together on a new project. Once things start to get repetitive or tense, take that as your cue to have some alone time.
Keep your mind active
Whether it’s learning the guitar or becoming a master of Illustrator, now is literally the best time to start learning a new skill or develop the side hustle you’ve been thinking about. If you’re old enough to work and aren’t currently able to, why not consider volunteering for a charity? Find out ways to get involved with Ditch the Label here!
Meet people in other ways
Start a new blog on Tumblr, join an online game or reach out to others on your favourite social network. The internet is an amazing tool to connect with others, especially when you’re battling isolation. Some of our favourite platforms right now include: Tumblr, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, Meetup and The Sims Online.
If you’re isolating away from friends and family – try and get a FaceTime/Houseparty in
It’s normal to feel left out while you navigate this period of time at home by yourself. Be proactive about staying in touch with everyone. Hit up the group chat for updates on their lives or just spam them with GIFs and memes. Set up a FaceTime with your best mate so you feel connected, or reconnect with someone who might have fallen off your radar lately.
Make a plan
Use this time to get organised for when lockdown is over and make some plans. Whether it’s for your group holiday next year, where you want to move to in a few years or even just ways you want to make changes in your life, this is a great time to think about the future. We know that when you feel lonely, it’s really easy to get caught up in how rubbish everything is now, but thinking about what lies ahead can give you hope for pulling out of your loneliness. Plus, some of these plans will almost definitely involve getting out and hanging out with people at some point, and that’s definitely something positive to focus on.
If all else fails, download The Sims
For real though. Like seriously, give it a go. If you’re feeling especially nostalgic, how about The Sims 2 or HABBO?
Remember, loneliness doesn’t last forever
Feeling lonely can be all consuming, and it can make you feel like this situation is going to last forever. The thing is, it absolutely isn’t – it’s temporary and we will all get back to our connections, routines and structures soon.
Need someone to talk to? You can speak to one of our trained Digital Mentors in confidence here.
Small amounts of stress are healthy and can help you get stuff done. But high levels of stress can have a serious impact on your mental and physical health so it’s important that you find ways to manage this during the coronavirus crisis when stress is inevitably ramped up.
People find different things relaxing so we’ve constructed a list of our fave chilling out tips and urge you to give them a try to see which ones work for you! It took us a bloody long time but we did it, we really did it. Here are 101 different things you can do to chill out and reduce stress.
Take a deep breath, here goes…
1. Watch something funny. Laughter really is the best medicine. It relieves physical tension, reduces stress and increases immunity…so watch your fave comedy and laugh your way to tranquillity.
2. Body Clench. This relaxation exercise may make you look a bit constipated but give it a go! Starting with your toes, go up through your body, gradually clenching each of your muscles right through to the tiny ones in your face, keep your whole body clenched, hold and then release to let go of all the tension. Feels good, right?
3. Try the Naam Yoga Hand Trick. Using your fingertips, apply pressure to the space between the knuckles of your index and middle fingers. This creates a sense of immediate relaxation by activating a nerve that loosens the area around your heart (don’t worry, it’s not as life-threatening as it sounds).
4. Stop multitasking. No wonder we’re all mega-stressed when we’re replying to text messages, whilst watching TV and speaking on the phone simultaneously! Not only is multitasking totally inefficient, but it’s also linked to the increased production of stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) that can send your body into panic mode! So chill out and take things one step at a time.
5. Get a Colouring Book. They’ve exploded in popularity recently and for good reason – colouring in helps you chill out because it’s very difficult to focus on other things when you’re doing it.
6. Have a banana. When we’re stressed out our blood pressure tends to rise but the potassium found in bananas can help to regulate this. Stress can also leave us feeling depleted but bananas give you a replenishing energy boost.
7. Organise ‘worry time’. (Worryingly) worry can counterproductively occur at any point in the day and release stress hormones into the body that can cause anxiety and lower our immune systems. So schedule a 15 minute worry window in your day, where you can write down your worries and work through them. You can use DTL’s stress reprogrammer to help.
8. Do some baking. The smell of baking can make people feel calm and comforted. Many people find baking stress relieving and adding decorative touches to your creation can give you a sense of pride, enhance how you’re feeling and therefore boost your self-esteem…so what better excuse to eat cake?
9. Cook up a facemask. Yep, that’s right, we are suggesting you mix up half an avocado, a teaspoon of honey, 2 tablespoons of hot water and smear it all over your face so that you vaguely resemble the Wicked Witch of the West. Relax for 10 to look and feel rejuvenated.
10. Stay silly. Don’t leave playtime at the primary school gates. Studies have consistently highlighted the importance of play for helping manage stress throughout our lives. Goofing around is good for us so bring out the lego, pull ugly faces and dance in your pants shamelessly!
11. Keep calm and kiss. Kissing increases levels of the love hormone, oxytocin, which relaxes us whilst decreasing the stress hormone, cortisol. It’s been shown that kissing can lower anxiety in a similar way to meditation as well as generally improving your mood through an increase of serotonin and endorphins in the brain…so if you’re staying home with your significant other, grab ‘em for a smooch!
12. Stay inside and listen to the rain. Want a good excuse to stay in your PJ’s? White noise may make you wanna tear your hair out when it’s blaring out of the TV, but this sound of nature shares similar wavelengths to the frequencies produced by white noise and actually has relaxing effects on the brain. So curl up with a hot choc and let your brainwaves do the work.
13. Watch a nature documentary. Not only are David Attenborough’s dulcet tones particularly soothing, nature documentaries can also sprinkle our minds with mood-lifting wanderlust and highlight the sheer scale of life which can in turn help us gain perspective of our own lives.
14. Meditate. Create a little zen den in your room where you can meditate (e.g. light candles and incense, play calming music). Reaching a meditative state takes practice but there are some great tips for beginners online. Meditation can help ease anxiety and improve concentration, so peace out.
15. Breathe ‘Pranayama’ style. This yoga method requires you to breathe through one nostril at a time (inhale through the left by blocking the right, exhale through the right by blocking the left, repeat for 3 minutes) to relieve stress. Weird but wonderful!
16. A spoonful of honey. Mother nature’s delicious treat has compounds that reduce inflammation in the brain which can help improve a low mood. Bee happy… (sorry, couldn’t resist).
17. Turn up the music and dance. Combining music and dance can help build self-esteem, lift your mood and reduce anxiety. Dancing may also help express emotions and experiences that are difficult to communicate in words alone…so dance like no one’s watching!
18. Watch a tearjerker. Okay, so you’re only on the first scene of ‘Up’ and you’re already in floods…don’t panic! The teary-eyed may experience a slight dip in their mood following the film but not long after you’ll notice your mood improves considerably from its original state and crying is an excellent way to relieve stress too so get the tissues out!
19. Try self-hypnosis. Okay so forget dangling pendants and special powers, self-hypnosis can really work! There’s loads of mp3’s you can download online to help reprogramme your subconscious to relieve stress and anxiety so have a listen.
20. Doodle. You may associate doodling with being bored in class but doing it in your spare time can be a great way to relax. When we’re stressed we can get caught in our thoughts but by doodling you’re engaging the creative upper right side of your brain which will give you the space you need to calm down and find a fresh perspective.
21. Play games. Board games, cards and even online/video games (in moderation!) can be a really effective way of relaxing. Fun games can trigger the release of endorphins and can help shift your attention away from stress. Interacting with friends and families through games can help ease stressful dynamics too so organise a pub quiz or games night over Skype if you’re isolating alone. Looks like I’ll be playing Call of Duty forever then…
22. Have a hug. Hugging increases serotonin levels which are linked to happiness and releases oxytocin which lowers stress hormones like cortisol. If you’re staying home with family, friends or flatmates this is a good time to hug them. Maybe warn them first though.
23. Have a massage exchange. Most of us don’t have 50 quid lying around to splash out on a professional massage, so relieve tension the frugal way and exchange massages with a friend or flatmate that you’re staying home with. For example, try massaging the muscle under the thumb to relieve tension in the hands (you’ll look just like a pro!) There are loads of tips online so you, your mate and your bank balance can enjoy the benefits of relaxation!
24. Drink hot water. Learn from the tradition of Chinese healing and drink a cup of good ol’, clean hot water. Okay, so it may not be as delicious as a hot chocolate but it will cleanse your system of toxins that have accumulated in the body and may be causing tension. You could try adding some lemon for flavour, vitamin C and its mood enhancing properties (e.g. reducing anxiety).
25. Support someone else. Moving your attention outside of yourself can help take the pressure of stressors in your own life and supporting others can also give you valuable insight for how to redress your issues. Seeing the impact you make in that person’s life will also boost your self-esteem which in turn, can help de-stress.
26. Watch cute animals on youtube. Oh, the power of cute! Watching our furry friends doing their thing can help reduce your stress levels and lift your mood. Aww!
27. Go Stargazing. If you have your own outside space, laying down and watching a starry night is not only awesome but it increases your brain’s alpha waves which rapidly enables you to relax. Cool, huh?
28. Light some incense. Scents like Sandalwood and Sage can help calm anxieties and aid relaxation (and make your room smell wonderful!)
29. Squeeze a stress ball. Using a stress ball can help alleviate tension by promoting muscle relaxation and providing a general sense of release.
30. Keeping a diary. Venting all those thoughts and emotions onto paper can make your feelings and problems seem less intimidating. Writing can be both insightful and therapeutic so get those words down on paper!
31. Chew gum. Chewing gum for a few minutes can help release anxiety, improve your mood and you’ll never have to worry about bad breath again! Go and rummage through every one of your pockets and bags – you’re bound to have some somewhere.
32. Drink green tea. Feeling all worked up? Green tea is a source of the chemical L-Theanine which can help relieve anger.
33. Call an old friend. Feeling out of control? Speaking to an old friend can be really grounding. Social connectedness can reduce stress levels and no doubt the nostalgia will get you smiling and laughing too!
34. Snuggle up with a pet. Cuddling your pet can help reduce anxiety through the release of oxytocin in your brain, ease feelings of social rejection and make you feel cared for which can help boost your self-esteem. The cutest therapy going!
35. Sniff those flowers. Did you know that certain smells can change our mood? Floral scents can lift your mental state and make you feel less anxious…so go in your garden and stick your nose in the rhododendron bush!
36. Stretch it out. Stretching has been linked to relaxation and stress relief as well as a greater sense of wellbeing. It’s also incredibly satisfying.
37. Organise your space. Mess can really start to clutter up your mind so clean your room and reorganize your desk. Tidy room, tidy mind (sorry, we said it).
38. Take a walk in nature. Not only will walking trigger the release of endorphins which can reduce stress hormones, but being out in nature can boost serotonin levels which can also contribute to an improved sense of wellbeing.
39. Be a tourist. Try mixing up your daily exercise and walk on different routes. Not only will it stop you getting bored but you’ll be surprised what you find when you’re a tourist in your own city, town or village.
40. Wash dishes. Okay, so I get that you’ve probably spent half your life avoiding this task but you’ll be surprised at how therapeutic it is. Not only will mindfully washing the dishes relax you, but you’ll please any other household members too and feel a sense of self-esteem boosting accomplishment. Concentrate on letting your mind and body experience the task with serene awareness (e.g. focussing on the smell of the soap, the feel of the dishes and the warmth of the water).
41. Visualisation. Your mind is a powerful tool. Whether you use it to visualise success, visit a happy place, or embark on an imaginary journey, the technique can help alleviate anxiety and sadness so go get creative in your head!
42. Sleep well. Whilst stress can interfere with sleeping, sleeping can also relieve stress. So use some of our chilling out tips to help you relax before bed and follow our DTL Sleep Guide so you can ensure that you’re spending a third of your life in bedtime bliss…zzz…
43. Cook your fave dish. Nourishing yourself with a good meal can help boost your sense of self-worth. Cooking can be a relaxing and rewarding process and hopefully you’ll feel accomplished instead of poisoned by the end!
44. Write a card for someone you care about. Whoever it is I can assure you that they’ll appreciate a card letting them know you’re thinking of them. Random acts of kindness like this have beneficial effects for both you and the person at the receiving end. You can feel good about making someone else feel great and performing these acts has been linked to helping socially anxious people feel more positive.
45. Light some candles. Candlelight is known for its calming effects and (even better) scented candles have aromatherapeutic properties which can improve wellbeing. Watching the flame of a candle can also be a great starting point for meditation. So sit back and enjoy the glow!
46. Take a nap. Don’t feel guilty, naps aren’t just for those over the age of 65! The afternoon power nap can effectively reduce stress, improve your mood and increase alertness, so we give you full permission to climb back into bed!
47. Countdown from ten. Caught in chaos? Take a couple of minutes out of your day to mindfully countdown from ten and back up again. Continue this process until you feel calm enough to resume your day.
48. Wake up and smell the coffee. Finally, a saying that makes literal sense! Smelling coffee actually reduces stress hormones, so we suggest you have a good whiff of a decaf variety over breakfast.
49. Give your temples a good ol’ massage. Learn from the great art of acupuncture and give those temples a gentle knead with your index and middle fingertips. Massaging your temples helps relax the other muscles in your body as well as soothing your headache symptoms (bonus!).
50. Feed the birds. Enjoy the company birds can bring and track all the different species you can view from your doorstep, garden or terrace. Okay, so I know it’s not exactly a night out with your mates but give it a try!… being around nature has a range of positive effects on our mental health (such as reducing anxiety) and you’ll be able to see the happiness you’ve brought to these cute little creatures.
51. Hum the tune of your fave song. Feeling anxious? Humming can dramatically slow down your heart rate and ground you. It also has a relaxing effect on your face, neck and shoulder muscles. Humming your fave tune will lift your mood and ensure you don’t get some other irritating song stuck in your head!
52. Open the windows. Not only does fresh air promote wellbeing and relax you, but getting more oxygen to the brain improves concentration and gives you the energy boost you need without the same sugar comedown of a chocolate bar (damn).
53. Be nice to yourself. Criticising yourself again? Take some time to practice self-love, whether that means starting the day repeating positive affirmations about yourself or nourishing your body with the nutrition you need. Remember ditching negative self-talk really will relieve a lot of stress. Check out some of DTL’s tips on building your self-esteem.
54. Have a bath. Taking a dip in a hot bath will relax your muscles, enabling you to unwind both physically and mentally which can help prepare you for a good night’s sleep too. A good soak can also be a great way to reduce daily anxiety…unleash the rubber ducks!
55. Get up earlier. Sorry guys. Whilst I wish early starts weren’t the reality, setting your alarm clock even just 15 minutes earlier could reduce your stress levels and bring back some routine. Waking up earlier also provides you with some valuable time to relax with yourself and prepare for the day ahead…so wake up sleepy heads! (Yawn).
56. Avoid negativity. Don’t let other people’s negativity shoot your adrenaline levels through the roof. It’s important not to judge someone for being negative, try to support them but make sure you separate your identity and emotions from it. If their negativity is aimed at you, it looks like they’re engaging in bullying behaviour so read DTL’s advice on how to talk to someone who’s bullying you.
57. Take care of your plants. Not only does filling your room with flowers look pretty and purify the air, but being around plants can help people feel more relaxed and actually reduce your likelihood of developing stress related depression.
58. Get knitting. Get creative using your motor skills to make repetitive motions that relieve stress. Give your brain a much needed break and if your thoughts get distracted, return to the movement. Go and raid the cupboards for those knitting needles!
59. Relax your jaw. Release the tension you’re carrying in your jaw by opening it wide for a half a minute, breathing through your nose and gently closing it. Great practice for the dentist too
60. Reflect on the day’s achievements. Don’t get stressed about what you should be doing, feel great about what you have done instead. We’re not expecting you to have climbed Mount Everest, you could have just given a friend some good advice. The reflection process can help boost your self esteem and ease anxiety as you’ll see how great you are already!
61. Munch some crunch. It’s important not to use food as a stress reducer as this can lead to unhealthy eating habits. But when you do reach for a snack, try some carrot sticks or a handful of almonds as this will help relieve stress by working your jaw muscles as well as giving you a nutritious boost. Gnaw away!
62. Deep breaths. When we’re feeling anxious our breathing changes and this ‘overbreathing’ can actually produce more anxiety. But deep breathing will encourage your mind and body to slow down and return to normal. So next time you feel yourself getting anxious, have a quick break and take a deep diaphragmatic breath in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 2 and exhale slowly through the mouth for 4 (wait a few seconds and then repeat). Panic over!
63. Decompress your stress. Invest in a 3-pack of flannels, soak them in warm water and place one on each of your shoulders and your neck, then close your eyes and relax those muscles. Ta da!
64. Turn off ALL electronic devices. Technology can be wonderful but interconnectedness comes at a price…laptops, phones and tablets all subtly increase our stress levels making us feel constantly ‘wired’. They can also disrupt your sleep which will only contribute to stress so make sure you switch them off an hour or two before bed. Oh the conflicting joys of the 21st century!
65. Browse your books. Sit back, relax and get lost in that good book you brought months ago but never read. New research suggests that reading even for just six minutes can reduce your stress levels by two thirds!
66. Clear your closet. Having a closet full of clothes you never wear just creates clutter and adds to the stress bucket. So make a day of it, and prepare to auction off your unwanted clothes after lockdown and donate the proceeds to Ditch the Label – thanks!
67. Study a new topic. I know it sounds counterproductive considering the stress studying causes, but study a topic you don’t or didn’t do at school, like gender across cultures, or survival skills…we would all feel more relaxed if we knew how to survive on a desert island.
68. Take a break from social media. Whilst interconnectedness and the opportunities of social media offer us so much, using it too often can have adverse effects. It can lower your self-esteem, take you away from the moment and bring drama into your life. All of these factors massively contribute to stress so take a break!
69. Have a good cry. Let’s face it, we’re living through difficult times so bottling up your emotions can lead you down a dangerous path and suppressing those tears actually increases your stress levels so make sure you let it all out and you’ll be surprised by the relief it brings.
70. Write a gratitude list. Unsurprisingly, stressful events can leave us feeling negative and as if we’re lacking in some way. But having a greater sense of appreciation for the people and things in your life can really help you gain perspective, feel more positive and enable you to better handle stress. So try writing down 5 things you’re thankful for.
71. Try herbal remedies. Mother nature scores again! Next time you’re feeling stressed try sipping on some chamomile tea, full of anti-anxiety components, or drip some lavender oil on your pillow at night to help relax you for a peaceful night’s sleep.
72. Don’t procrastinate. We’ve all been there…one minute you’re studying, the next minute you’re checking out the photos of your friends’ mutual friends’ friend on facebook (wow, that even sounds as stressful as it is), but all procrastination does is put things off and stops you achieving your goals which only generates more stress!
73. Lower your standards. Setting ridiculously high standards for yourself generates anxiety by putting pressure on you to perform and it can make you particularly vulnerable to the damaging effects of emotional stress. Nobody’s perfect so try loving and accepting yourself as the great individual you are.
74. Get a hobby. Pursuing a new hobby is a fun way to break away from life’s demands, as well as allowing you to build your self-esteem and express yourself, which all contribute to the reduction of stress. Why not give writing poetry a go or try out an online yoga class…do whatever interests YOU!
75. Watch the sunrise (or set). Okay, so perhaps getting up at the crack of dawn to watch a sunrise is a little bit ambitious, but watching a sunset on a clear evening is both breathtaking and incredibly relaxing. So let go of your worries and let yourself get immersed in the colors. It’s true that the best things in life are free.
76. Ask for help. Everyone needs a helping hand sometimes. Trying to cope with everything on your own just exacerbates stress. Whether you open up to a trusted friend, family member or us here at Ditch the Label, a problem shared is a problem halved!
77. Eat stress free. Incorporate stress-busting foods into your diet like avocados, oily fish, whole wheat varieties and oatmeal. Please Sir, can I have some more?
78. Enjoy simplicity. Used to living life in the fast lane? Rushing around is not only stressful, we forget about the simple things that bring us happiness too so learn to stop and notice life’s little pleasures like laughing with your friends or enjoying the feeling of sun on your skin when you go out for your daily exercise. Mindfulness can significantly reduce anxiety so relax and enjoy the moment!
79. Strike a (yoga) pose. There’s loads of yoga poses you can try at home that can help reduce anxiety. Have a go at the child’s pose by sitting on your knees and bending forwards so that your face is resting on the floor, keeping your arms by your sides. This comforting pose, helps us turn inside for a while and slow down our racing minds.
80. Stop judging. With so many things to worry about, don’t let worrying about what other people do with their time be one of them. Sitting around criticising others isn’t gonna make anyone happy. Try supporting them instead. If you often find yourself judging others it’s likely that you’ve been giving yourself a hard time too so ditch the criticism and you’ll not only feel better about yourself but you’ll have a lot more time to relax too!
81. Nurture yourself through words. Read whatever inspires you; poems, positive affirmations and empowering quotes….let the words ground you, calm your mind and regenerate you.
82. Avoid Caffeine. That comforting cup of coffee may not be so kind to your nerves. Whilst giving you a temporary boost, caffeine injects adrenaline into your system and increases levels of the stress hormone cortisol. A cup of coffee can brew trouble for anxiety sufferers so try an equally heart-warming decaf alternative instead.
83. Learn to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes, that’s how we learn. Bullying yourself, mulling over petty grievances and begrudging others is only gonna hurt you so start forgiving yourself and other people and you’ll find there’s a lot less to stress about!
84. Say no sometimes. Being a ‘yes’ person isn’t easy. People pleaser’s listen up!…saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean you’re selfish or rude. Practicing saying ‘no’ will help simplify your life and give you the valuable time you need to relax with yourself.
85. Get some sun. Vitamin D (which our bodies absorb through exposure to the sun) can play an important role in your mental health but at the moment many of us are lacking in it. Keep calm and soak up all the sun you can when you have to go out and if you’re running low, top up with vitamin D rich foods like oily fish and eggs.
86. Listen to calming music. Oh, the power of music! Research suggests that chilled out tunes slow down our pulses, lower blood pressure and decrease stress hormones. So plug in and relax or if no one’s listening sing/shout along to release even more tension!
87. Stand tall. Did you know good posture can actually make you feel more in control and less anxious? Power poses of confidence can actually decrease levels of the stress hormone cortisol, so stand proud and your mood will follow. And if your posture is suffering from working at your dining room table, take regular breaks and stretch it out.
88. Drink more water. Even slight dehydration can lower our moods and it can increase levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. Dehydration can also cause your body to stop functioning properly which can result in anxiety too…so get sipping!
89. Do a puzzle. Feeling all keyed up? Try and crack a sudoku, a crossword or piece together a puzzle to unwind and get your mind into a state of relaxation.
90. Take your brain on holiday. As much as we’d all love to be sunbathing in the Caribbean right now, most of us are constrained to mind wandering instead. But daydreaming can help you solve stressful problems, relax you and inspire creativity. So get lost in your thoughts and see where your mind takes you!
91. Spend less. Advertisers capitalise on the notion that buyers ruthlessly spend in response to stress and low self-esteem. Remember that having lots of things just adds to stress and won’t solve negative feelings so next time you’re about to part with your cash take a step back and ask “why do I want this?” and “do I really need this?”
92. Do your nails. There are loads of tips online for giving yourself the ultimate DIY mani and pedi. Spend some time looking after number one, feel relaxed and maybe get creative with nail art too!
93. D.I.Y. Remember thatset of shelves you bought that would look so awesome in your room? Or the string of lights you always intended to drape across your headboard? Now is the time to rip open those boxes and get them up! Every achievement makes us feel so much better.
94. Change it up. If you have the option, try moving your furniture around. It feels completely refreshing and makes us see the space in a completely new way.
95. Listen to an audiobook. Being read a story is ridiculously relaxing and a comforting way to wind down before bed. It’s much less effort than reading and there’s a huge choice of podcasts online so do check those out.
96. Make your room your safe haven. Your bedroom should be your sanctuary for peaceful relaxation so make it that way! Get some candles, declutter your space and why not make a personalised noticeboard of quotes that inspire you, pictures, photographs…
97. Get shredding. Remember that draw full of old bank statements and the bag full of receipts? Yeah, we’re pretty sure you don’t still need those paper phone bills from 2013…
98. Make a list. If you are one of those people (guilty as charged) who likes to make a list and then cross it all off with a flourish then go for it! Maybe even list all the things you’ll want or need to do once lockdown is over.
99. Make over. Finally use all of those foot masks and hair treatments that you HAD to have but are now falling out of your bathroom cupboard every time you open it. Treat yo’self!
You made it to the end, kudos!
TL;DR Remember. You may be in a particularly stressful period at the moment and feel overwhelmed but remember it WILL PASS. It’s likely that any negative feelings you’re experiencing are to do with your body responding naturally to stress. So stay calm, and relieve your stress using these tips.
But, if those feelings become overwhelming and make you feel out of control, do speak to your GP, a trusted adult or talk to Ditch the Label. There’s great support available for you and remember that nobody deserves to suffer in silence.
Emotions spilling all over the place? Taking it out on those around you? We feel ya, here’s what you need to know.
What do you get when you stick 2 or more people into isolation for several weeks at a time? Arguments. Whether you’re in confinement with loved ones or battling it alone, there’s no denying that it’s tough. Our usual coping mechanics may no longer be there, so we’ve put together our top tips on how to deal with your emotions during the coronavirus crisis. Remember that we’ll all experience negative emotions and that’s okay. What isn’t okay is denying that they exist and locking them away because that won’t help you in the long run.
Woah, we feel you on this one. With less physical space and feelings of restriction, it’d be kinda weird if you weren’t feeling an element of anger; whether that’s at the situation or the people around you. Here are some things you could try:
Go for a jog, alone (and this is important because we all need personal space in order to let off some steam)
Do something that requires physical exertion – if you don’t have a punch bag at hand, be creative with what you do have – ideas could include throwing rocks into a local lake or sea front, digging or gardening that requires a lot of physical movement or ripping up old paperwork or packaging. The physical activity will help your body metabolise cortisol, which is the stress hormone responsible for making you feel angry af.
Rant – whether it’s to your loved ones or written down in a journal, let some of that emotion out. A step up from this would be to tear the note from out of your journal and rip it to shreds afterwards.
Listen to angry music and allow yourself to just bathe in your anger for a bit. Best to do it in isolation and with headphones on – it’s never healthy or okay to let your anger spill out on to other people.
Do something that makes you feel fulfilled – like learning a new skill or doing something that will help take your mind off it for a while.
Honestly sis, we feel ya but there’s another way
We’re surrounded by uncertainty and the reality of a relatively unknown illness and so you may be relieved to know that in general, the rates of anxiety have increased – but that doesn’t mean yours has to.
Limit the amount of news you consume, it’s mostly always bad and quite often isn’t a fully accurate representation of what’s actually going on.
Use this as an opportunity to strike a healthier relationship with social media – try to scroll past posts that are fueling your anxiety. Go on an unfollow spree and remove accounts that don’t make you feel good about yourself.
Have a digital detox – take time each day to just sit and do nothing. If you’re able to, surround yourself with nature or open a window to let the sound of nature pour in. Turn your phone off and set yourself the challenge of withdrawing from screens for at least an hour a day.
Set boundaries by asking your friends and family to not send you any news stories without first getting your permission.
Remember that there is a lot of misinformation out there designed to make you feel anxious about the situation, so check out our top tips on filtering fact from fiction here.
There’s no way of sugarcoating the situation – the reality of it sucks. Yes, we’ll be okay and make it through this. Yes, it’ll make you stronger and yes, you’ve got this – but sometimes all the positivity in the world doesn’t make it feel any better. That’s why it’s important not to deny yourself feelings of sadness.
Cry – it’s scientifically proven that crying can be good for you as it helps release negative emotions and feelings of sadness. If you struggle doing this, an idea might be to listen to sad music or watch a sad movie alone and be open to crying.
Practice self-care and do things that help you relax. If you are able to, spending time alone in the bath or meditating can be the perfect way of removing distractions and processing feelings of sadness.
Try to limit activities to things that are calming and remember that it’s perfectly normal and healthy to feel sad at the moment.
Connect with your loved ones and tell them how you’re feeling.
Remind yourself of the things you are grateful for – many people have a gratitude diary where they write down 3 things that they are grateful for from their day.
It would be unusual if you hadn’t had lonely vibes lately and it makes perfect sense – suddenly we’re all cut off from many of the people we care about but it’s important to remember that they are still there and are going through the same feelings as you.
Recognise that we all have social needs and it’s perfectly natural to feel thrown off if yours aren’t being met as they once were.
Be vocal and keep in touch with your loved ones. Regular phone/video calls can make the world of difference.
Reminisce over old photos and funny memories that you have with people as a reminder that this situation is only temporary.
Use social media to connect with others who share similar interests with you.
Spend a bit of time watching vlogs from people you admire and hearing how they’re coping with lockdown.
Feeling suicidal/depressed/severely anxious
If you are currently feeling suicidal, it’s really important that you get urgent advice from a crisis prevention practitioner. Remember, it’s okay to feel like this but feelings can change and pass. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you matter and you deserve help to get through this.
Click here for safe contacts you can speak to. If you have feelings of severe anxiety or are feeling depressed, we recommend speaking with your GP or medical practitioner. We are not trained medical practitioners and cannot formally diagnose or treat health issues such as depression.
Whatever it is you’re feeling ATM, know that you most certainly aren’t alone and we’re here to help you figure it out. If this article helped, don’t forget to give it a thumbs up. If there’s something we didn’t cover or you’d like to chat with one of our support mentors, click here to join our support community.
Been tricked by fake news during the coronavirus lockdown? You’re not the only one…
Been fooled by an audio note on Whatsapp or an article shared via Insta? You’re not the only one. Fake news (aka ‘misinformation’) is all over the place at the moment and we’re dodging coronavirus conspiracies and unofficial official announcements like aircon in the winter.
Misinformation affects us all. It’s easy to get sucked into it, especially when it’s been forwarded to you by somebody that you trust. We’re all on high alert at the moment, because our very existence feels threatened by the coronavirus crisis. When we feel threatened, we actively seek out as much information as possible to help us evaluate the current level of risk and danger.
Check the source
We’ve put together our ultimate toolkit on how you can be a misinformation detective. Okay, so the audio note you just got sent, who is it that recorded it? Is there a name and job title? If so – Google it. If there is reference to a Government department or organisation involved in the current crisis, does the information check out with the latest announcements on their Twitter feed and/or website? Chances are, Government sources aren’t turning to Messenger and Whatsapp to share official updates.
Check where it originates from
We’ve all heard the disclaimers of ‘it’s definitely legit, it was sent by my brother’s, girlfriend’s, sister-in-law and she works for the Army and she was told by her friend who works for the NHS’. Yeah, no… chances are it’s a case of messages being passed on so many times with bits added and changed every time and there’s a solid chance the person who sent it to you is doing so because they believe it to be legitimate and are trying to help you. Ignore the fact that you trust this person wholeheartedly just for a minute and question if you’d believe it if somebody you didn’t know sent it to you. Trust your gut instinct.
Check the news
Head over to at least 2 different news outlets that you trust and check to see if they are running a story that backs up whatever it is you’ve seen, read or heard. If it’s got time to spread like wildfire on Insta, it’s had more than enough time to hit the media headlines. Quite often, media outlets will report on a breaking story initially with a sentence or two, followed by ‘more follows…’.
Take some of the keywords or claims from whatever you’ve been sent and Google it. Is it referenced elsewhere? And if so, is it referenced on authentic, reputable and trustworthy sources?
Try a fact checker
There are plenty out there, such as fullfact.org and snopes.com. Both websites currently have coronavirus related news items on the homepage and are frequently updated. If you can’t find any reference, why not send the information you’ve been sent to request that they fact check it? You can do this either via their contact forms or for a quicker response, their official Twitter feeds.
Look out for certain words
Quite often articles that contain misinformation use things like ‘an unknown source close to the issue’ and words such as possibility, speculation, probably, maybe, experts warn… basically words that suggest something is factual but isn’t actually. Unless a credibly source is able to factually declare something, take it with a pinch of salt.
Most importantly, don’t share anything until you’ve verified that the information is true and trusted. We know it’s tempting but try to keep in mind the fact that a lot of people are struggling with associated stress and anxiety and unfortunately some people just get off on causing a frenzy on social media.
The surprising benefits of having a routine during lockdown
Are you struggling to fall asleep at night and sleeping bizarre hours? Are you spending most of your day feeling demotivated and struggling to focus? Do you feel more tired and lethargic than normal? If so, you may be relieved to know that you’re definitely not alone and we may have the solution to your coronavirus blues.
Beneath everything, we’re all pretty much creatures of habit. Most of us have structure and routine to our days; which is usually built on the foundations of studying or working. Generally speaking, most of us go to bed and wake up at a similar time each day, we eat at around the same time and socialise and relax once our study/work commitments are fulfilled.
What science tells us
On a scientific level, this structure helps our bodies know when to expect sleep and food, it helps with the regulation of energy, it knows when we’re typically supposed to feel stimulated and when it’s okay to relax, amongst hundreds of other processes going on that you’re not even aware of. On a psychological level, the routine gives us an element of security and control. It helps us regulate our rhythm and gives an element of predictability. It’s easy enough to overlook the value of routine… until you’re in a situation when it’s taken away from you.
Without routine and structure to our days, everything is thrown off. Suddenly our bodies battle to regulate sleep; we find ourselves lying wide awake until the early hours and then struggling to get up in the morning. Eating at irregular intervals can leave us raiding the cupboards for snacks and makes us more prone to unhealthy choices. Gradually we start to slump into inactivity; the routine that once guided our energy and concentration has been completely wiped and we’re left in limbo.
We know it may sound incredibly simple, but rebuilding your routine and daily structure around the coronavirus crisis could actually be the key to unlocking improved mental health, better sleep, healthier eating habits and help boost your creativity and productivity.
Building in Routine
We can help you figure out your new routine, but in order to get the maximum benefit, you really need to commit. That means no lie-ins, no midnight feasts and the self-discipline to push ahead when you really can’t be bothered. It’s hard at first, but the more you do it, the easier it’ll become.
Start by mapping out the general flow of your day before the coronavirus lockdown. What time were you going to bed and waking up? How often were you exercising? When did you feel at the peak of your productivity? Map this out using the template below and then start to think about how your routine currently looks in comparison. You can then use this side-by-side comparison to identify some of the areas where you may have fallen behind.
Add in 3 doses of good vibes
Now start to think about 3 things you’d like to do more of during your day to help look after your mental health. This can be anything, but if you’re struggling for ideas, here are some examples: meditation, yoga, exercising, reading a book, mindfulness, writing a gratitude diary, colouring in, drawing, boxing, listening to calming music in the bath, writing in your journal or blogging on a platform like Tumblr, giving yourself an hour without technology. Set yourself a daily objective of how much time you’d like to spend on your 3 activities. It may be an idea to set 20 minutes per activity, so that you’re committing an hour a day to looking after your mental wellbeing.
With this in mind, use the template below to start building out your daily routine, with each of the 3 activities included. It’s a good idea to have each activity run at the same time of the day so that you’re more likely to remember doing it. Programming in a calming activity such as meditation or yoga first thing in the morning is always a good idea as it can help you set your intentions for the day and to start on a positive note. Something active in the evening; such as jogging or boxing can help release any stress or pressure build up from the day,
It may be tricky at first but try it for 3 days and see how different you feel and don’t give yourself a hard time if you have a couple of blips along the way!
A Routine Example
Things to include: 20 minutes of exercise 20 minutes of reading 20 minutes of meditation
Go for a 20 minute jog then shower and eat breakfast
Work on project
Eat lunch, Facetime friends
Work on project
Go on Playstation
Meditate for 20 minutes, read for 20 minutes, get ready for bed, wind down and aim to be asleep for 11pm
Grab a pen and paper and build something out that you feel would work well for you. No need to make it super complicated and it’s really important to keep things realistic for the best chance of success. Good luck and let us know how you get on!
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