Category: Bullying

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying

How to Help Someone Who is Being Bullied – By Priya Rose Toberman

For Anti-Bullying Week 2020, one of our student writers has put together this piece on how to help someone who is being bullied.

Anti-Bullying week is a really important week to recognise the impact of bullying, and to work towards creating a safer environment, particularly for young people in schools. It can be difficult when someone you know is being bullied and you’re not sure what to do, So, here is a guide to how you can recognise when bullying is taking place, and what you can do to help someone who is being bullied.

Bullying may not be obvious

When we think of bullying, we often think of images of physical abuse or name-calling, but it can be much more subtle than that. If you notice someone always seems to be excluded from things, is the butt of the joke more often than not, is humiliated frequently under the guise of ‘banter’ or is often made fun of behind their back by a large group of people; these are all signs that bullying is occurring.

Generally, if you get the gist that someone is being treated or talked about in a not-very-nice way repeatedly, this is a form of bullying, which can have a very negative impact on the mental health of the person being bullied. It can be difficult to know what to do next in this situation, and so here are some steps you can take if you think bullying is happening in your community.

Try to include people

Often the person being bullied is someone without many friends. By trying to include people who seem alone, even if those people aren’t generally viewed as ‘cool’ or aren’t accepted by the group, you can make it less easy for them to be targeted. Perpetrators of bullying tend to pick on lonely people, so by forming a support network, you help protect against the bullying. Also, generally, it’s kind to include people who are treated as outcasts, and nice to make new friends.

If an act of bullying is occurring, get the person away from the situation and check if they’re okay

All this means is finding an excuse to leave alongside the victim and taking them somewhere safe to make sure they’re okay. Remind them that no one deserves to be made miserable, and everyone has the right to be happy. Ask them what they need in order for that to be true for them.

At first, support the person affected by bullying with what they personally feel they need in order to feel better about the situation, even if you think there is a better course of action. Doing something drastic too soon could upset them and alienate them from your support.

Boy looks into archways at night

Stand up to the perpetrator if the person affected is too afraid

This is the part that some people find daunting, but don’t worry. A really simple way to completely derail an act of bullying is just to let them know that what they’re doing isn’t funny. By showing that the person affected has your support, and pointing out that the perpetrator is in the wrong, you make other bystanders less likely to continue to take the wrong side or stand by.

Help them build up the courage to speak to someone

Often, the person affected will not want to speak to an adult in fear of worsening the problem, and so helping them build up the courage to do so can be really important. Evaluate the different options, e.g school nurse, school counsellor, head of year, trusted teacher, parent, even a hotline or charity such as Ditch the Label. Discuss the options that would provide emotional support, such as counselling. Even with your efforts, they will need some form of support, even if they do not want direct intervention at this point.

If bullying continues, speak to a teacher or trusted adult

If the bullying continually occurs, here is where you must reach out to a teacher or trusted adult, especially if you feel that someone is in danger. Simply find an adult you trust and explain the situation. This part can be difficult, since it can feel as though you are betraying the person affected if they don’t want to tell anyone, but you must do it anyway for the sake of their own safety – it is in their interest that you must alert someone of authority.

Even if you’re worried they’ll have a negative reaction to it, it is more important that they are safe and also that you are not the only person they have to depend upon, and that the burden is not solely on your hands.

The most important thing to offer is friendship. Be kind to others and you will set an example.

By demonstrating your kindness towards not just the person affected but to others in general, you set an example for others to follow. A large reason why perpetrators of bullying are successful is because they set a precedent for others to join in with them. By demonstrating a kinder approach, people will be less inclined to follow the person they know is in the wrong. By showing friendship and kindness you help to create a kinder environment.

Remember to always keep your own mental health in mind when dealing with a bullying situation, and if it becomes difficult to support someone on your own, make sure to reach out to an adult who is better equipped to handle the situation and can give your friend the support they need.

Read more on our bullying support hub here.

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Cyberbullying General

Ditch the Label x Screen Shot – #NotJustaComment

Anti-Bullying Week 2020 is coming to an end, but our hard work never ends. We partnered with the amazing content team over at Screen Shot on their campaign #NotJustaComment, raising awareness for cyberbullying, and how often it can be a throw comment on social media that can impact us the most. 

In our Annual Bullying Survey we found that bullying increased by 25%, that 1 in 4 received abuse online as a result and that the pandemic lockdown increased cyberbullying exponentially. We don’t want this to happen for another year. Check out the awesome campaign below to put an end to hate in the comments section. 

Screen Shot Logo

#NotJustaComment 

Screen Shot asked six people in the public eye to talk about the comments they’ve received on social media. Sophia Hadjipaneteli, Zain Shah, Harnaam Kaur, Jennifer McKing, Suede Brooks and Josh Moore all took part, reading mean comments posted on their own channels to highlight how frequently and savagely they can often be insulted. 

Check out the video here

Gif of the campaign video featuring four personalities. Title reads Screen Shot by Ditch the Label.

Founder of Screen Shot, Shira Jeczmien, said:

“Screen Shot has always been vocal about the impact of bullying and online hate on young people’s well-being, and partnering with Ditch the Label as well as 6 inspiring advocates was a powerful opportunity to approach the discourse from an honest and direct point of view.

To raise awareness of the matter, we created a unique landing page for the campaign where people can find extra resources regarding Anti-Bullying Week 2020. As a campaign, Not Just A Comment is our way of keeping the dialogue surrounding online bullying open within our community in order to make sure everyone can engage with it, share their own struggles and fight this together.”

Check out the campaign page here! 

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying

Ever wondered if the behaviour of those in the public eye has any effect on the behaviour of young people?

We live in a continuously polarized society. Politicians and those regularly in the public eye have never been more at odds with one another. But what impact does this have on the rest of us, beyond the headlines? 

Our Annual Bullying Survey identified that only 30% of young people disagree with the idea that the behaviour of politicians has a direct impact on how they treat others. With the growing amount of headlines about politicians at odds with each other and famous faces breaking the law, we wanted to ask young people what they think of how role models in the limelight have affected them and, perhaps more importantly, what they can do better. 

Read the full Annual Bullying Survey 2020 here

Ditch the Label Asks…

Do You Think that the Behaviour of People in the Public Eye Effects How You Treat Others?

Screenshot of our instagram poll, showing 80% of people agree that the behaviour of politicians affects how people treat each other.

As you can see, even more of you agreed that the behaviour of politicians affects how people treat each other in school. So we decided to ask…

Who do you think would be a better role model? 

Lots of you responded with people who you think would be better role models for young people in schools today.

Here are just a few of the most mentioned:

Marcus Rashford, AOC, Billie Eilish, Emma Watson, David Attenborough, Akala, Greta Thunberg, Malala, The Obama Family, Sam Smith, Jameela Jamil, Joe Wicks and Jacinda Ardern.

Lots also suggested groups of people are better role models including:

Artisits, philosophers, young people of colour, activists, NHS heroes and other front line workers, mental health practitioners, small business owners and normal people just like the rest of us.

So what does this mean?

The fact that 80% of you think that the role models we have today are not the ones we need is pretty scary. Every newspaper, social media feed and news website is always full of how politicians are constantly fighting with each other, and being exposed to this all the time obviously has a negative impact on young people.

So we want to know from you – how can we solve our role model problem? Answer in the comments!

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Friendships Relationships

Check Yourself: How to Change Your Behaviour in a Positive Way

Life can be complicated, and often, we aren’t always aware of hope our behaviour can affect people around us. In our recent Annual Bullying Survey, we found that only 30% of young people disagree with the statement that the behaviour of politicians has an impact on the behaviour of peers at school. So essentially, we have a role model problem. 

If we really want to, we can all change our behaviour for good, and now more than ever, we all need kindness in our lives. 

Read the full Annual Bullying Survey 2020 here.

How to Change Your Behaviour in a Positive Way 

Look at how others treat each other 

Look at how people around you treat each other. What do you dislike? What do you think is nice? We aren’t suggesting you police the morals and interactions of others, but rather just have a think about it by yourself. How would you respond if someone said or did something like that to you, or to a loved one? Learning from others is how humans are made, and we should never stop doing it. 

Listen and absorb

Ask those around you, how do you feel when I do or say this? How would you feel if I changed it? It can be hard to take criticism, especially from those we love, but we can’t know how to treat the people we love better, unless they tell us how. 

Think about how you would want your best friend to be treated

We’ve all heard the saying, treat others as you would want to be treated. But, we don’t do this. A lot of people can get caught up in acting the way their friends or family do, even if this isn’t the best way to treat other people. So think, what if your best friend was being treated the way you might be treating others at school? Would you like it? Would you step in? What would you do?

Change small things, and slowly 

The reason why so many of the changes we make in life never seem to stick is we try to change too much, and too fast. We can’t wake up one morning and be a completely different person, and nor should we try. It’s important to remember that humans are mostly good and well-meaning. Changing the odd thing about how we treat others around us though, is a great way to make the world a better place. 

Boy looking into the distance at a scene of mountains and trees

Keep a journal 

A key reason why we don’t treat others well is that we don’t treat ourselves well. We might be piling on the pressure, be dealing with difficult personal situations, or dealing with issues such as depression or anxiety. Keep a journal that’s just about how you feel at the beginning and end of every day. Write a few notable things that happened in the day, whether they were interactions you had with people, or stuff that happened just to you. It will help you monitor your own mental wellbeing, and get on the way to improving it. 

For more tips on how to keep track of your mental health, read this. 

Remember; you are not alone in wanting to be better

Nobody is perfect. There is not a single person on the planet who is above reproach, and we all make mistakes. Making mistakes is the most incredibly human thing we all do. You are not alone in wanting to treat others or yourself better, and you are not alone on your journey of self-improvement. 

And not all of you has to change 

It’s incredibly brave to take some steps to become a better person or to recognise that maybe sometimes you treat people in a negative way. It’s incredibly important to remember that you are not alone, and that you are an amazing person. Like we said above, no one is perfect, and all we can do in the end, is try to be kinder. 

If you feel like you need support, we are here for you. You can reach out to our support community here for confidential advice and support. 

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying

Finding Happiness – A Poem by Jade Swarbrick

For Anti-Bullying Week 2020, one of our ambassadors shared a poem she wrote about her bullying experiences and finding happiness on the other side.

Being silly and joking we’re my favourite things to do,
Everyday I skipped to school my heart full of joy,
Innocence was the key at that young primary age,
Difference was seen as okay,
I was really loved for me,
I wish this would last.

I continued to grow from child to teen,
Enjoying every birthday,
Oblivious of the future despair,
Little by little my difference was pointed out,
People stopped loving me for me,
That kindness didn’t last.

Difference wasn’t okay,
It was hated and despised,
They laughed at my weird jaw,
They attacked me with names,
High school was scary but my home was safe,
I wish this would last.

Social media became a thing,
Status’, photos, dm’s,
It took away my safe space,
Now I had no where to escape,
They found me at my weakest,
I wish this wouldn’t last.

My mind stopped being kind,
It no longer cared,
Instead it joined in,
It sided with them,
Loser, freak, ugly, jaws, rubber-lips,
I think this will last.

My brain began to battle,
Sadness versus worry,
I grew tired and weary,
I believed all the cruelty,
I would hide in the toilets, my final safe space,
I think this will last.

I wasn’t safe at school,
I wasn’t safe at home,
I wasn’t safe in my head,
I wasn’t safe on earth,
They told me to die, but so did my brain,
Maybe if I did, this wouldn’t last.

But I didn’t die,
The unsafe school was a thing of the past,
I left for a fresh start, holding 12 GCSE’s,
The battle in my brain remained,
But this time I could fight,
Maybe it won’t last.

The doctor told me it’s okay to be different,
The doctor made my dreams come true,
I looked in the mirror and saw a new me,
That was the first time I truly smiled,
That was the day I fell in love with me,
I really hope this lasts.

The bullies from the past preached I was pretty,
Strong, inspiring and amazing they said,
My new friends love me for me,
New jaw or old,
You see I now have so much love and happiness round me,
I know this will last.

Here I am alive, happy, loved,
I am sharing my story to show you the truth,
Some days are easy yet some can be hard,
But I’ve learnt that’s okay,
because difference is okay.

Happiness does last,
I promise the bad never wins,
I promise the bullies never win,
I finally reached the top,
Smiling and full of love,
Because difference is okay,
The bullying never lasts.

If you need support for bullying, or anything else, you can reach out to our Community here for free confidential support and advice.

Categories
Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Mental Health

Feeling Lonely At Home? We’ve got a Solution

Feeling lonely is normal. Especially in 2020. Between the COVID-19 pandemic and being locked away in our bedrooms for most of Spring, and big changes to the way we can see our friends and family, loneliness is on the rise. In fact, in our latest Annual Bullying Survey, we found that 82% of you felt lonely at some point. Not only that, but 42% of those who felt lonely, felt so mostly in their own homes. So we’ve written a quick guide to combating loneliness at home.

When others are at home with you, try to spend time with them

It can be tempting to spend a lot of time in your room when you feel down, and feeling lonely can make us feel more depressed and anxious about spending time with people. Try to break the cycle by making yourself go and spend time with the people you live with, even if it’s just for a ten minute chat whilst the kettle is boiling. 

Organise a film and pizza night once a week with the people you live with

If the people you live with are really busy and not around too often, ask if they would be interested in keeping one evening free a week to hang out. Watch movies, eat good food or just have a catch up over a cup of tea. Whatever it is, having one thing a week in your diary will give you something to look forward to and bring you closer to those you live with.

If you don’t get on with who you live with, try to think about why, and see if you can solve it

If you don’t get on with your family, why not try using the fact that you are having to spend more time at home to solve that problem? We know it can be hard, especially when we feel like we are in the right and making the first move can feel like admitting defeat. But trying to sit down and have an adult conversation with whoever it is you don’t get on with will benefit all of you in the long run. You could get a family member, mutual friend or trusted adult to act as a mediator between you, and see if you can both find some common ground. 

Want to know more? You can download the full report here.

Don’t over schedule yourself

It might sound contradictory, but trying to fill your time with everything under the sun is not a good way to stop yourself feeling lonely. In fact, you’ll probably find that as soon as you are alone and have a moment to yourself, those feelings are a lot worse. Instead, have a nice balance, and then you will have the opportunity to start learning how to be alone without feeling lonely. 

Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely 

Try to get good at spending time on your own. Save some of your favourite things to do for the time you know that you’re going to be alone so that it can become something you look forward to, instead of something you dread. 

Need some more? Read these:
Feeling Lonely During Lockdown? Read This.
7 Tips to Combat Loneliness

And if you need someone to talk to, we are always here. Reach out to our community here for free support and advice. 

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Research

9 Fast Facts About Bullying in 2020

2020 has been a tough year. But before the lockdown, we asked over 13,000 teenagers in the UK about their experiences of bullying. The results proved that now more than ever, anti-bullying campaigning and bullying support are incredibly vital for the mental wellbeing of young people. There’s still a lot of work to be done, just take a look at these bullying facts. 

The pandemic has seriously affected our funding, and we are entirely reliant on your support to help young people impacted by bullying. Click here to find how you can support us.

Bullying: The Facts

  1. 1 in 4 young people have been bullied in the past year, up a further 25% from 2019.
  2. Of those bullied, 30% were bullied at least once a week.
  3. Of those who were bullied 86% were verbally abused, 54% were subjected to the spreading of rumours, 27% received online abuse and 24% were physically assaulted.
  4. Nearly half felt they were bullied because of their appearance, 30% because of hobbies or interests, 24% for something they did, 22% subjected to homophobic abuse when they do not identify as LGBTQ+ and 17% because of the clothes they wore.
  5. Only 31% don’t think the behaviour of politicians influences how people treat each other at school.
  6. 21% didn’t tell anyone, and 43% parents know little-to-nothing about what their child is going through.

Why does it matter?

  1. Of those who were bullied, nearly half had increased anxiety, 36% felt depressed, 33% had suicidal thoughts, 27% self-harmed and 11% attempted suicide.
  2. 63% said they felt it had a moderate to extreme impact on their mental health and 51% felt it had a moderate to extreme impact on their studies.
  3. 42% of all young people have hidden or changed part of themselves to avoid being bullied

For more, check out these articles:
Do We Still Need Anti-Bullying Week?
What to Say to Someone Who is Being Bullied
Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons
Top 10 Tips for Overcoming Bullying

We don’t just research bullying experiences. If you want to know more, you can find more of our research here.

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Cyberbullying Mental Health

Cancelling Cancel Culture – Ditch the Label x P. Louise

You’re cancelled. 

‘Cancel culture’ is something we are all familiar with, whether it’s happened to you, or someone you follow in the public eye. For those that don’t know what it is, ‘being cancelled’ refers to the way in which media personalities are called out for mistakes on social media, often made many years ago. But it’s not just one person, and usually results in a digital witch hunt until their career or lives are destroyed or worse. 

Even though cancelling someone might start with good intentions, perhaps to stand up for what is right, or to make people reconsider their mistakes, so often it can end in tragedy. We only need to remember the tragic events that resulted in the death of Caroline Flack, to realise that something has to change in the way we react to the mistakes of those in the public eye.

We want to lead the charge against ‘cancel culture’. That’s why Ditch the Label is thrilled to announce our new partnership with international makeup brand, P. Louise. To kick it off, this is the story of their new collection ‘Cancelled’ from the founder and CEO of P. Louise; Paige. 

Get your hands on the limited edition collection here.

The story of Cancelled – by Paige Louise 

First of all, many people have assumed the collection portrays my own personal mistakes and faults which have been highlighted to the media and the public. The truth is that Cancelled is not about my previous mistakes but cancel culture, cyberbullying and how social media can quickly turn toxic.

I want to make it clear that the release of this collection is not to undermine my past mistakes. In fact, I want to take this chance to apologise again.

I cannot rewind time but I can strive to know better, grow and be better. 

Life is a process of learning and unlearning. Being truly sorry means showing up, even when it makes you uncomfortable. It’s about turning the fear of criticism and disapproval into change – and I am committed to that process. 

Understanding where you go wrong in life and accepting your mistakes is important, but so is shifting your relationship with criticism. I’ve taught myself that it’s important to embrace it – criticism means there’s an opportunity to do more learning and allow for more understanding.

However, the Cancelled collection goes far beyond my personal mistakes and errors. It goes without saying that nobody is perfect, humans in general are a fundamentally flawed species. But ‘cancelling’ someone won’t help them grow and humiliating someone won’t help them become better. 

The detrimental effect that trolling has on people can lead to anxiety, self-doubt and sometimes sadly, even suicide. Comments that you may think are irrelevant, such as what dress a person is wearing or what lipstick shade they’re rocking, can be impactful to a person.

What may not affect you, may affect someone else immensely. 

With Cancelled, I want to highlight that no matter the circumstances you are in, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Together we will tackle cyberbullying and make social media a happy and positive environment, which is why I am thrilled to announce that a percentage of profits made by the Cancelled collection will be going to Ditch the Label, to support those who have been through cyberbullying. 

Love, Paige x

People are human. Media personalities, instagram influencers, celebrities, are human. And humans make mistakes sometimes. We should all have the opportunity to learn from them, grow from them, and educate others on those lessons, and most of us are lucky enough to be able to do that in relative privacy. Those in the public eye do not have that privilege. If we cancel everyone who makes a mistake, all we do is ruin careers and ruin lives. 

We need to cancel our ‘cancel culture’.

Click here to get your hands on the limited edition collection

Check out these articles for more:

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Anti-Bullying Week

Do We Still Need Anti-Bullying Week?

It’s Anti-Bullying Week this week, but do we still need it?

Did you know that bullying is one of the biggest challenges facing people below the age of 18 right now? Yet there’s still a few myths that suggest it’s ‘just part of growing up’ or the rhetoric that tells those who experience bullying to ‘just ignore it’.

But in 2020, 1 in 4 young people have been bullied and this has increased by 25% since last year.

This week, in commendation of Anti-Bullying Week, we’re asking – do we still need it?

Here are 9 reasons why the answer is a massive yes.

1. Going through bullying can feel lonely, crappy and isolating

Anti-Bullying Week sends a clear and much needed message to anyone who is currently suffering at the hands of bullying: you are most certainly not alone. Whilst it feels lonely and dark sometimes, help is available. You can talk to us here.

2. Bullying is one of the biggest issue facing young people today

The latest Ditch the Label research finds that half of all teens in the UK have at some point experienced bullying, with a third being subjected to online abuse.

3. Because the impacts can’t be ignored

You think bullying is ‘just part of growing up’? How about depression, anxiety, suicide, self-harm and eating disorders? Are those things part of growing up too — because these are all very real impacts of bullying.

4. It’s literally impossible to ‘ignore it’

Telling people to ignore the abuse they receive sends a very clear message – withdraw from your emotions and allow the abuse to continue. It is literally impossible to not be impacted by persistent bullying.

5. The internet makes it easier than ever to be abusive

It’s no secret that the internet dehumanises us all and researchers have known for a long time that people find it easier to be abusive towards something that they consider to be less than human. Throw anonymity into the mix and there’s a perfect storm for online abuse.

6. Bullying isn’t old news

Contrary to popular belief, Bullying is not an outdated thing but in fact, it is a very current issue that loads of people are going through right now.

7. Anti-Bullying Week raises crucial awareness

By raising awareness of the catastrophic effects that bullying can have, we can help those most affected by it.

8. And provides a forum for those who need it

Talking about bullying can be tough and may feel embarrassing and Anti-Bullying Week provides a safe forum to talk about these issues. Don’t forget that we have the largest and only dedicated online support community for anybody who is affected by bullying. You can get involved here.

9. Anti-Bullying Week opens the door to talking about the root issues

Anti-Bullying Week allows us to raise awareness to the work we do with those who bully to become better, happier and more understanding people instead of villainising them. In doing so, we can overcome bullying all together.

If you’re currently going through bullying, please don’t suffer in silence. We can help you and we can help make it stop, so utilise us and please speak up. We’re here and we’ve got your back.

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Bullying Cyberbullying Friendships Self-Help

What To Say To Someone Who Is Being Bullied

The Dos and Dont’s:

In our research, we found that almost half of us have experienced bullying at one point or another. Given what a high number of people that is, it is still very common to be on the receiving end of advice that although means well, isn’t always very helpful.

We also know that an alarmingly high number of us never report it and suffer in silence instead. If a friend or loved one does decide to open up to you and share what they are going through, sometimes it is hard to know how to appropriately respond.

With this mind we have compiled a list of things to avoid saying to them, as well as a helpful alternative:

1. Don’t say: ‘Ignore it’

This old chestnut can be very damaging. Being told to ignore something that is causing you stress and anxiety is not helpful. Ignoring the bullying unsurprisingly doesn’t actually work and saying something like this might stop them from sharing anything else in the future. This could have a serious effect on their mental health and lead to things such as depression, and more extreme outcomes.

Do say: ‘Let’s talk about it’

This is a way more helpful and compassionate response. Feeling like your voice is being heard is extremely important as it makes us feel less alone. It also lets us know that someone cares and is interested in what’s going on in our life, without looking to fix or dismiss the problem.

2. Don’t say: ‘It’s just a part of growing up’

Whilst experiencing bullying growing up is all too common, it does not mean you have to accept it as a rite of passage. Saying this also offers no advice on how to deal with the problem at hand.

Do say: ‘What’s been going on?’

This question gives the person the opportunity to talk honestly and openly if they wish to get what’s bothering them off of their chest.

3. Don’t say: ‘Stop being so sensitive’

This piece of advice is particularly harmful. It implies it is their reaction to the bullying that is the problem, and that if they were less ‘sensitive’ the issue would magically disappear. This is not the case. You also might embarrass them by referring to their reaction to the situation as ‘sensitive’ as it implies they are overreacting. This might stop them speaking up and seeking help in the future.

Do say: ‘It ok to feel upset/angry’ etc

You need to reassure them that whatever they are feeling is perfectly normal and natural. Try and make them understand that there is no right or wrong when it comes to feelings – all we really need to do is acknowledge them.

4. Don’t say: ‘Just stand up for yourself’

As a piece of advice, this doesn’t work for a few reasons. It can make the person feel powerless as they might not feel able to stand up for themselves or know how to go about standing up themselves. They might also be fearful of the consequences.

Do say: “I’m here for you, what do you want to do about it?”

This lets the person know you care and that you want to help them through this tough situation and most importantly, it is not their fault.

5. Don’t say: ‘Fight back’

Bullying isn’t always something you can meet with force as it can very easily spiral out of control. Often reacting in an aggressive manner can make the situation worse and can put them at risk of physical harm. If they feel it is a safe and appropriate action to take, maybe encourage them to try talking to the person who is doing the bullying.

Remind them to challenge the behaviour, not the person – so instead of accusing the person of being a ‘bully’, explain why their actions or words are causing distress.

For example, instead of saying “you’re upsetting me”, they could say “what you said/did has upset me”. It might be appropriate to suggest that a teacher or responsible adult hosts a mediation between them. A mediation can feel scary for those involved but is often incredibly powerful; it is essentially a face-to-face conversation between the person who is being bullied and the person doing the bullying in a controlled, equal environment.

Do say: ‘How can we deal with this together?’

Understandably it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture when you are being attacked and therefore they might feel like they are facing the problem alone, with no one they can depend on for support.

Your friendship could make all the difference to them right now. Spend time with them, make sure they know they are not alone and try to do things that will boost their self-esteem and confidence. It’s important that they still look after their health and maintain a good diet, exercise and things like meditation and yoga. It is also important that you remember to look after yourself as well and don’t take too much on.

what to say to someone who is being bullied

6. Don’t say: ‘Just avoid them’

By saying this, you are minimising and undermining the problem. It is also not realistic to think that these situations can be easily avoided. It is better to acknowledge what is happening and try to think of ways to combat or resolve the bullying.

Do say: ‘You don’t deserve to be treated like this’

Remind them that they deserve to be treated with respect. Often people who are bullied can feel like a ‘victim’ but it’s important that they don’t disempower themselves and let the bullying dictate who they are. They need to find ways to regain control, confidence and self-esteem – we have a great guide on how you can rebuild your self-esteem here.

Remind them as often as you can that they are worthy, in control and that things will get better. Head to our blog to read stories of how people have overcome similar situations and gone on to do great things, it will help reassure them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

7. Don’t say: ‘Telling someone will just make it worse, so don’t bother’

Almost 1 in 2 young people who experience bullying never tell anybody for this very reason. A mixture of embarrassment, fear and a lack of faith in the current support systems stops people reaching out. Please don’t encourage someone to suffer in silence.

Do say: ‘Talk to someone you trust.’

It can feel exposing and uncomfortable talking about our experiences of being bullied, that’s why talking to someone we trust can make a difference.  

It is important they share with someone what they are going through – they shouldn’t go through something like this alone as it is extremely stressful, and can be emotionally draining to endure bullying.

This stress can have an impact on all areas of your life, including your mental well-being, ability to communicate with others, performance in school/work, self-esteem and confidence.

It is therefore incredibly important that they tell somebody they trust about what they are going through; it doesn’t even have to be an adult – it could be a friend or somebody at Ditch the Label. It is vital, during a traumatic time, that they have a support system and people who they can rely on when they are feeling low, or unable to cope.

Join the community to talk to digital mentors or other people who are going through bullying – you do not need to go through it alone anymore…