Category: Bullying

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Anti-Bullying Week Appearance Mental Health

Top 10 Tips for Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Do you feel low on confidence and self-esteem today? There are 10 simple ways to help you increase your self-esteem and build confidence in yourself.

  1. Challenge bad thoughts about yourself
  2. Take care of yourself
  3. Be sure to relax
  4. Set goals for yourself
  5. Help somebody else out
  6. Take a different perspective
  7. Try new things
  8. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good
  9. Accept yourself
  10. Keep visual reminders of things that make you feel good

What is the meaning of self-esteem?

Each and every one of us have self-esteem. Self-esteem is made up of the thoughts we have about ourselves and plays a role in almost everything we do.

Having healthy self-esteem is really important as it helps you make positive choices in your everyday life, gives you the courage to be your own person, have good relationships and helps you deal with difficult situations.

Did you know that 87% of those who have been bullied felt it had a negative effect on their self-esteem…

Low self-esteem can have harmful effects on your mental health, your decisions about your appearance and ultimately, your future.

It’s not easy to like every part of the way you look, but getting stuck on negatives can really bring down your self-esteem.

Other effects of low self-esteem include:

  • You avoid difficult situations
  • Sensitive to criticism
  • Anxiety
  • Withdrawal from social situations
  • You are reluctant to trust yourself

It’s important to believe, deep down that you can change. Change doesn’t necessarily happen easily or quickly, but it can happen.

lion king, gif, change is good, not easy

Here are our top tips and the best ways to build and improve your self-esteem.

1. Challenge bad thoughts about yourself

Replace them with more positive thoughts which celebrate things you’re good at. You can do this by writing down a list of at least three things you do well.

Remember this list when you start feeling low, this will help bring yourself back to reality.

2. Take care of yourself

Eating well and exercising boosts endorphins, the body’s natural opiates, which make you feel good on the inside and stimulates a more positive mood.

When you exercise, you’ll ease stress and feel better about yourself. Having a cheesy dance in your bedroom, or going for a jog around the block are great ways to boost your self-esteem.

3. Relax

The constant feeling of stress can play a huge role in low self-esteem. It makes you feel negative thoughts more often, it reduces your confidence and you’ll probably feel too tired to exercise, be social or do a lot of the things you love.

Reducing your stress by taking time out to do something you find relaxing is a great starting point to making yourself feel better.

This can be anything from taking a bath, meditation, gaming, indoor dancing, singing… you name it; if it works for you, it works!

4. Set goals

Take the time every day to think about what you’d like to achieve. Then set yourself realistic goals for each day and keep track of your progress by writing down all your accomplishments.

This can be as simple as finishing off a piece of work or tidying up (and we all know how challenging this can be!)

You’ll feel an enormous sense of accomplishment when you’ve ticked off everything on your list for the day.

The trick is to not get bogged down by the list; some days you won’t manage to get it all done and that’s OK too! We all have off days, maybe make a shorter list for the next day and see how you get on?

5. Help someone out

This can be a friend, family member or even a classmate who is struggling with their work or having a tough time at school. You could give them some advice or just be there to listen to a problem.

It’s amazing how much our confidence is boosted when we do selfless things – do one thing a week to help someone else without expecting anything in return.

6. Take a different perspective

Look at tricky situations from alternative angles. Try to replace thoughts like ‘why should I bother?’ with ‘I won’t know unless I try’.

By looking at a situation through a more realistic lens you’ll realise that you actually can do what you want – you just need to apply a bit more positivity!

By doing this every time you have a negative thought, you’ll eventually default to this kind of positivity on the regular, and who doesn’t love a go-getter? Sometimes we just need to think and try different things to overcome having low self-esteem.

7. Try new things

Our brains are really good at learning new stuff and the more new stuff you learn, the better you get at learning it and the more likely you find things you can be passionate about.

Everyone needs a creative outlet; music, art, dance, games, sewing, cooking, web design – all you need to do is get on YouTube and find some tutorials. All the information you need is out there – it’s just waiting for you to watch it.

DM us on Instagram the best YouTube tutorial videos and let us know you were inspired by this article!

8. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good

Sometimes our friends don’t make us feel good, and that’s okay. You just need to spend your time with other people who appreciate and care about you more. This doesn’t even need to be your friends, but they could be family members, online friends or neighbours.

And those friends who aren’t helping your mood? Learn whether they are a toxic friend and think about trying to distance yourself from those people who make you feel bad about yourself.

It can be a little tricky at first, but even if they’re the most popular kid in school or the coolest person you know, it’s really not worth hanging out with them if they make you feel rubbish!

If you need help, we’ve written an article with 8 steps to help you break up with a toxic friend.

Strengthen friendships and relationships and you’ll most certainly feel better about things in the long run!

9. Accept yourself

Nobody is perfect. We all have issues and we all have flaws. Learn to accept your ‘flaws’ or imperfections and love them, because they are what make you unique. So, work it honey!

Self-acceptance is the key to feeling confident. When people pay you compliments, simply say ‘thanks’ rather than brushing them aside or countering them with a negative.

10. Keep visual reminders of things that make you feel good

Mementoes are a great way to see all the cool things you’ve been doing. How about making a ‘wall of fame’ in your bedroom with snaps of you and your friends?

We are living in an age where we have a camera in our pocket at all times…take more pictures!

Capture those memorable moments and when you look back at them, you’ll realise how many awesome things you’ve done this year!

Still not sure if you have low self-esteem?

It is completely normal to feel negative about yourself from time to time but if this feeling is long-lasting, then you may have low self-esteem.

Picking up on the signs is important so you can build your confidence back up to where it should be.

Take this easy to finish quiz to find out if you need a bit of a boost:

The link doesn’t work? Try the quiz here: https://www.qzzr.com/c/quiz/410901/hows-your-self-esteem

Need a lil’ boost to your confidence?

Join our community for anonymous answers from our digital mentors or other people going through similar issues as you. Let’s overcoming low self-esteem together!

Or hit us up in the Brag Box on Community and tell us one thing you’re proud of!

Self-Esteem & Confidence FAQs

What are three tips for improving your self-esteem?

Make sure to look after yourself, and find people who make you feel good and happy. Challenge any bad thoughts that come into your head. Understand the things triggering these bad thoughts and make changes to deal with them.

How do I build my confidence?

One of the ways to do this is to stop comparing yourself to other people, especially on social media apps like Instagram. Challenge your internal negative thoughts and try new things. Confidence will build from doing things just as much as learning about them.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

You avoid difficult situations, you are more sensitive to criticism that normal, you feel more anxiety than normal, you are withdrawing from social situations and you feel reluctant to trust yourself.

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying

How to Help Someone Who is Being Bullied – By Priya Rose Toberman

For Anti-Bullying Week 2020, one of our student writers has put together this piece on how to help someone who is being bullied.

Anti-Bullying week is a really important week to recognise the impact of bullying, and to work towards creating a safer environment, particularly for young people in schools. It can be difficult when someone you know is being bullied and you’re not sure what to do, So, here is a guide to how you can recognise when bullying is taking place, and what you can do to help someone who is being bullied.

Bullying may not be obvious

When we think of bullying, we often think of images of physical abuse or name-calling, but it can be much more subtle than that. If you notice someone always seems to be excluded from things, is the butt of the joke more often than not, is humiliated frequently under the guise of ‘banter’ or is often made fun of behind their back by a large group of people; these are all signs that bullying is occurring.

Generally, if you get the gist that someone is being treated or talked about in a not-very-nice way repeatedly, this is a form of bullying, which can have a very negative impact on the mental health of the person being bullied. It can be difficult to know what to do next in this situation, and so here are some steps you can take if you think bullying is happening in your community.

Try to include people

Often the person being bullied is someone without many friends. By trying to include people who seem alone, even if those people aren’t generally viewed as ‘cool’ or aren’t accepted by the group, you can make it less easy for them to be targeted. Perpetrators of bullying tend to pick on lonely people, so by forming a support network, you help protect against the bullying. Also, generally, it’s kind to include people who are treated as outcasts, and nice to make new friends.

If an act of bullying is occurring, get the person away from the situation and check if they’re okay

All this means is finding an excuse to leave alongside the victim and taking them somewhere safe to make sure they’re okay. Remind them that no one deserves to be made miserable, and everyone has the right to be happy. Ask them what they need in order for that to be true for them.

At first, support the person affected by bullying with what they personally feel they need in order to feel better about the situation, even if you think there is a better course of action. Doing something drastic too soon could upset them and alienate them from your support.

Boy looks into archways at night

Stand up to the perpetrator if the person affected is too afraid

This is the part that some people find daunting, but don’t worry. A really simple way to completely derail an act of bullying is just to let them know that what they’re doing isn’t funny. By showing that the person affected has your support, and pointing out that the perpetrator is in the wrong, you make other bystanders less likely to continue to take the wrong side or stand by.

Help them build up the courage to speak to someone

Often, the person affected will not want to speak to an adult in fear of worsening the problem, and so helping them build up the courage to do so can be really important. Evaluate the different options, e.g school nurse, school counsellor, head of year, trusted teacher, parent, even a hotline or charity such as Ditch the Label. Discuss the options that would provide emotional support, such as counselling. Even with your efforts, they will need some form of support, even if they do not want direct intervention at this point.

If bullying continues, speak to a teacher or trusted adult

If the bullying continually occurs, here is where you must reach out to a teacher or trusted adult, especially if you feel that someone is in danger. Simply find an adult you trust and explain the situation. This part can be difficult, since it can feel as though you are betraying the person affected if they don’t want to tell anyone, but you must do it anyway for the sake of their own safety – it is in their interest that you must alert someone of authority.

Even if you’re worried they’ll have a negative reaction to it, it is more important that they are safe and also that you are not the only person they have to depend upon, and that the burden is not solely on your hands.

The most important thing to offer is friendship. Be kind to others and you will set an example.

By demonstrating your kindness towards not just the person affected but to others in general, you set an example for others to follow. A large reason why perpetrators of bullying are successful is because they set a precedent for others to join in with them. By demonstrating a kinder approach, people will be less inclined to follow the person they know is in the wrong. By showing friendship and kindness you help to create a kinder environment.

Remember to always keep your own mental health in mind when dealing with a bullying situation, and if it becomes difficult to support someone on your own, make sure to reach out to an adult who is better equipped to handle the situation and can give your friend the support they need.

Read more on our bullying support hub here.

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Cyberbullying General

Ditch the Label x Screen Shot – #NotJustaComment

Anti-Bullying Week 2020 is coming to an end, but our hard work never ends. We partnered with the amazing content team over at Screen Shot on their campaign #NotJustaComment, raising awareness for cyberbullying, and how often it can be a throw comment on social media that can impact us the most. 

In our Annual Bullying Survey we found that bullying increased by 25%, that 1 in 4 received abuse online as a result and that the pandemic lockdown increased cyberbullying exponentially. We don’t want this to happen for another year. Check out the awesome campaign below to put an end to hate in the comments section. 

Screen Shot Logo

#NotJustaComment 

Screen Shot asked six people in the public eye to talk about the comments they’ve received on social media. Sophia Hadjipaneteli, Zain Shah, Harnaam Kaur, Jennifer McKing, Suede Brooks and Josh Moore all took part, reading mean comments posted on their own channels to highlight how frequently and savagely they can often be insulted. 

Check out the video here

Gif of the campaign video featuring four personalities. Title reads Screen Shot by Ditch the Label.

Founder of Screen Shot, Shira Jeczmien, said:

“Screen Shot has always been vocal about the impact of bullying and online hate on young people’s well-being, and partnering with Ditch the Label as well as 6 inspiring advocates was a powerful opportunity to approach the discourse from an honest and direct point of view.

To raise awareness of the matter, we created a unique landing page for the campaign where people can find extra resources regarding Anti-Bullying Week 2020. As a campaign, Not Just A Comment is our way of keeping the dialogue surrounding online bullying open within our community in order to make sure everyone can engage with it, share their own struggles and fight this together.”

Check out the campaign page here! 

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying

Ever wondered if the behaviour of those in the public eye has any effect on the behaviour of young people?

We live in a continuously polarized society. Politicians and those regularly in the public eye have never been more at odds with one another. But what impact does this have on the rest of us, beyond the headlines? 

Our Annual Bullying Survey identified that only 30% of young people disagree with the idea that the behaviour of politicians has a direct impact on how they treat others. With the growing amount of headlines about politicians at odds with each other and famous faces breaking the law, we wanted to ask young people what they think of how role models in the limelight have affected them and, perhaps more importantly, what they can do better. 

Read the full Annual Bullying Survey 2020 here

Ditch the Label Asks…

Do You Think that the Behaviour of People in the Public Eye Effects How You Treat Others?

Screenshot of our instagram poll, showing 80% of people agree that the behaviour of politicians affects how people treat each other.

As you can see, even more of you agreed that the behaviour of politicians affects how people treat each other in school. So we decided to ask…

Who do you think would be a better role model? 

Lots of you responded with people who you think would be better role models for young people in schools today.

Here are just a few of the most mentioned:

Marcus Rashford, AOC, Billie Eilish, Emma Watson, David Attenborough, Akala, Greta Thunberg, Malala, The Obama Family, Sam Smith, Jameela Jamil, Joe Wicks and Jacinda Ardern.

Lots also suggested groups of people are better role models including:

Artisits, philosophers, young people of colour, activists, NHS heroes and other front line workers, mental health practitioners, small business owners and normal people just like the rest of us.

So what does this mean?

The fact that 80% of you think that the role models we have today are not the ones we need is pretty scary. Every newspaper, social media feed and news website is always full of how politicians are constantly fighting with each other, and being exposed to this all the time obviously has a negative impact on young people.

So we want to know from you – how can we solve our role model problem? Answer in the comments!

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Friendships Relationships

Check Yourself: How to Change Your Behaviour in a Positive Way

Life can be complicated, and often, we aren’t always aware of hope our behaviour can affect people around us. In our recent Annual Bullying Survey, we found that only 30% of young people disagree with the statement that the behaviour of politicians has an impact on the behaviour of peers at school. So essentially, we have a role model problem. 

If we really want to, we can all change our behaviour for good, and now more than ever, we all need kindness in our lives. 

Read the full Annual Bullying Survey 2020 here.

How to Change Your Behaviour in a Positive Way 

Look at how others treat each other 

Look at how people around you treat each other. What do you dislike? What do you think is nice? We aren’t suggesting you police the morals and interactions of others, but rather just have a think about it by yourself. How would you respond if someone said or did something like that to you, or to a loved one? Learning from others is how humans are made, and we should never stop doing it. 

Listen and absorb

Ask those around you, how do you feel when I do or say this? How would you feel if I changed it? It can be hard to take criticism, especially from those we love, but we can’t know how to treat the people we love better, unless they tell us how. 

Think about how you would want your best friend to be treated

We’ve all heard the saying, treat others as you would want to be treated. But, we don’t do this. A lot of people can get caught up in acting the way their friends or family do, even if this isn’t the best way to treat other people. So think, what if your best friend was being treated the way you might be treating others at school? Would you like it? Would you step in? What would you do?

Change small things, and slowly 

The reason why so many of the changes we make in life never seem to stick is we try to change too much, and too fast. We can’t wake up one morning and be a completely different person, and nor should we try. It’s important to remember that humans are mostly good and well-meaning. Changing the odd thing about how we treat others around us though, is a great way to make the world a better place. 

Boy looking into the distance at a scene of mountains and trees

Keep a journal 

A key reason why we don’t treat others well is that we don’t treat ourselves well. We might be piling on the pressure, be dealing with difficult personal situations, or dealing with issues such as depression or anxiety. Keep a journal that’s just about how you feel at the beginning and end of every day. Write a few notable things that happened in the day, whether they were interactions you had with people, or stuff that happened just to you. It will help you monitor your own mental wellbeing, and get on the way to improving it. 

For more tips on how to keep track of your mental health, read this. 

Remember; you are not alone in wanting to be better

Nobody is perfect. There is not a single person on the planet who is above reproach, and we all make mistakes. Making mistakes is the most incredibly human thing we all do. You are not alone in wanting to treat others or yourself better, and you are not alone on your journey of self-improvement. 

And not all of you has to change 

It’s incredibly brave to take some steps to become a better person or to recognise that maybe sometimes you treat people in a negative way. It’s incredibly important to remember that you are not alone, and that you are an amazing person. Like we said above, no one is perfect, and all we can do in the end, is try to be kinder. 

If you feel like you need support, we are here for you. You can reach out to our support community here for confidential advice and support. 

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying

Finding Happiness – A Poem by Jade Swarbrick

For Anti-Bullying Week 2020, one of our ambassadors shared a poem she wrote about her bullying experiences and finding happiness on the other side.

Being silly and joking we’re my favourite things to do,
Everyday I skipped to school my heart full of joy,
Innocence was the key at that young primary age,
Difference was seen as okay,
I was really loved for me,
I wish this would last.

I continued to grow from child to teen,
Enjoying every birthday,
Oblivious of the future despair,
Little by little my difference was pointed out,
People stopped loving me for me,
That kindness didn’t last.

Difference wasn’t okay,
It was hated and despised,
They laughed at my weird jaw,
They attacked me with names,
High school was scary but my home was safe,
I wish this would last.

Social media became a thing,
Status’, photos, dm’s,
It took away my safe space,
Now I had no where to escape,
They found me at my weakest,
I wish this wouldn’t last.

My mind stopped being kind,
It no longer cared,
Instead it joined in,
It sided with them,
Loser, freak, ugly, jaws, rubber-lips,
I think this will last.

My brain began to battle,
Sadness versus worry,
I grew tired and weary,
I believed all the cruelty,
I would hide in the toilets, my final safe space,
I think this will last.

I wasn’t safe at school,
I wasn’t safe at home,
I wasn’t safe in my head,
I wasn’t safe on earth,
They told me to die, but so did my brain,
Maybe if I did, this wouldn’t last.

But I didn’t die,
The unsafe school was a thing of the past,
I left for a fresh start, holding 12 GCSE’s,
The battle in my brain remained,
But this time I could fight,
Maybe it won’t last.

The doctor told me it’s okay to be different,
The doctor made my dreams come true,
I looked in the mirror and saw a new me,
That was the first time I truly smiled,
That was the day I fell in love with me,
I really hope this lasts.

The bullies from the past preached I was pretty,
Strong, inspiring and amazing they said,
My new friends love me for me,
New jaw or old,
You see I now have so much love and happiness round me,
I know this will last.

Here I am alive, happy, loved,
I am sharing my story to show you the truth,
Some days are easy yet some can be hard,
But I’ve learnt that’s okay,
because difference is okay.

Happiness does last,
I promise the bad never wins,
I promise the bullies never win,
I finally reached the top,
Smiling and full of love,
Because difference is okay,
The bullying never lasts.

If you need support for bullying, or anything else, you can reach out to our Community here for free confidential support and advice.

Categories
Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Mental Health

Feeling Lonely At Home? We’ve got a Solution

Feeling lonely is normal. Especially in 2020. Between the COVID-19 pandemic and being locked away in our bedrooms for most of Spring, and big changes to the way we can see our friends and family, loneliness is on the rise. In fact, in our latest Annual Bullying Survey, we found that 82% of you felt lonely at some point. Not only that, but 42% of those who felt lonely, felt so mostly in their own homes. So we’ve written a quick guide to combating loneliness at home.

When others are at home with you, try to spend time with them

It can be tempting to spend a lot of time in your room when you feel down, and feeling lonely can make us feel more depressed and anxious about spending time with people. Try to break the cycle by making yourself go and spend time with the people you live with, even if it’s just for a ten minute chat whilst the kettle is boiling. 

Organise a film and pizza night once a week with the people you live with

If the people you live with are really busy and not around too often, ask if they would be interested in keeping one evening free a week to hang out. Watch movies, eat good food or just have a catch up over a cup of tea. Whatever it is, having one thing a week in your diary will give you something to look forward to and bring you closer to those you live with.

If you don’t get on with who you live with, try to think about why, and see if you can solve it

If you don’t get on with your family, why not try using the fact that you are having to spend more time at home to solve that problem? We know it can be hard, especially when we feel like we are in the right and making the first move can feel like admitting defeat. But trying to sit down and have an adult conversation with whoever it is you don’t get on with will benefit all of you in the long run. You could get a family member, mutual friend or trusted adult to act as a mediator between you, and see if you can both find some common ground. 

Want to know more? You can download the full report here.

Don’t over schedule yourself

It might sound contradictory, but trying to fill your time with everything under the sun is not a good way to stop yourself feeling lonely. In fact, you’ll probably find that as soon as you are alone and have a moment to yourself, those feelings are a lot worse. Instead, have a nice balance, and then you will have the opportunity to start learning how to be alone without feeling lonely. 

Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely 

Try to get good at spending time on your own. Save some of your favourite things to do for the time you know that you’re going to be alone so that it can become something you look forward to, instead of something you dread. 

Need some more? Read these:
Feeling Lonely During Lockdown? Read This.
7 Tips to Combat Loneliness

And if you need someone to talk to, we are always here. Reach out to our community here for free support and advice. 

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Research

9 Fast Facts About Bullying in 2020

2020 has been a tough year. But before the lockdown, we asked over 13,000 teenagers in the UK about their experiences of bullying. The results proved that now more than ever, anti-bullying campaigning and bullying support are incredibly vital for the mental wellbeing of young people. There’s still a lot of work to be done, just take a look at these bullying facts. 

The pandemic has seriously affected our funding, and we are entirely reliant on your support to help young people impacted by bullying. Click here to find how you can support us.

Bullying: The Facts

  1. 1 in 4 young people have been bullied in the past year, up a further 25% from 2019.
  2. Of those bullied, 30% were bullied at least once a week.
  3. Of those who were bullied 86% were verbally abused, 54% were subjected to the spreading of rumours, 27% received online abuse and 24% were physically assaulted.
  4. Nearly half felt they were bullied because of their appearance, 30% because of hobbies or interests, 24% for something they did, 22% subjected to homophobic abuse when they do not identify as LGBTQ+ and 17% because of the clothes they wore.
  5. Only 31% don’t think the behaviour of politicians influences how people treat each other at school.
  6. 21% didn’t tell anyone, and 43% parents know little-to-nothing about what their child is going through.

Why does it matter?

  1. Of those who were bullied, nearly half had increased anxiety, 36% felt depressed, 33% had suicidal thoughts, 27% self-harmed and 11% attempted suicide.
  2. 63% said they felt it had a moderate to extreme impact on their mental health and 51% felt it had a moderate to extreme impact on their studies.
  3. 42% of all young people have hidden or changed part of themselves to avoid being bullied

For more, check out these articles:
Do We Still Need Anti-Bullying Week?
What to Say to Someone Who is Being Bullied
Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons
Top 10 Tips for Overcoming Bullying

We don’t just research bullying experiences. If you want to know more, you can find more of our research here.

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Anti-Bullying Week Bullying Education Relationships Research

Why Do People Bully? The Scientific Reasons

Why do People Bully?

According to our latest research, 1 in 2 people have experienced bullying in some form in the last 12-months. And trust us when we say, we know how difficult it can be to go through it, especially if you don’t fully understand the psychology of bullying.

In this article, we will be exploring the reasons why people bully, using the latest research and psychology to give you a greater understanding of the motives of those who are either bullying you right now or who have done so in the past.

You may have assumed that you get bullied for whatever makes you different or unique, for example: your race, religion, culture, sexual or gender identity, line of work, fashion sense or weight. By the end of this article, you will know that this is not the case at all.

If you want to talk about it – join our community today to start a conversation about bullying and speak to our amazing digital mentors who can help you anonymously without judgement.

The Psychology of Being Bullied

We will explore the reasons why later on in this article, but most frequently, those who bully others are looking to gain a feeling of power, purpose and control over you.

The easiest way of doing this is to focus on something that is unique about you – either preying on or creating new insecurity with an intent to hurt you either physically or emotionally.

What happens is, we, as the people experiencing bullying, start to internalise it and we become self-critical. We want to understand the reasons why we are being targeted and we start to blame ourselves.

As a result, we try to change or mask that unique characteristic in order to avoid the bullying. We dye our hair, bleach our skin, date people we aren’t interested in and cover up our bodies like they are something to be ashamed of.

It starts to affect our behaviour and the ways in which we see ourselves, which in turn, can go on to impact both our mental and physical health.

The way we see bullying is all wrong. It isn’t because we are different in some way.

person, standing, edge, of, shoreline, water. fog. hills

The Real Reasons Why People Bully Others

In a recent Ditch the Label study, we spoke to 7,347 people about bullying. We asked respondents to define bullying and then later asked if, based on their own definition, they had ever bullied anybody. 14% of our overall sample, so that’s 1,239 people, said yes. What we then did was something that had never been done on this scale before; we asked them intimate questions about their lives, exploring things like stress and trauma, home lives, relationships and how they feel about themselves.

In fact, we asked all 7,347 respondents the same questions and then compared the answers from those who had never bullied, those who had bullied at least once and those who bully others daily. This then gave us very strong, scientific and factual data to identify the real reasons why people bully others.

It also scientifically proves that the reason people get bullied is never, contrary to popular belief, because of the unique characteristics of the person experiencing the bullying. So, why do people bully?

Stress and Trauma:

Our data shows that those who bully are far more likely than average to have experienced a stressful or traumatic situation in the past 5 years. Examples include their parents/guardians splitting up, the death of a relative or the gaining of a little brother or sister.

It makes sense because we all respond to stress in very different ways. Some of us use positive behaviours, such as meditation, exercise and talking therapy – all designed to relieve the stress.

Others use negative behaviours such as bullying, violence and alcohol abuse, which temporarily mask the issues but usually make them worse in the long-term.

The research shows that some people simply do not know how to positively respond to stress and so default to bullying others as a coping mechanism.

Aggressive Behaviours:

66% of the people who had admitted to bullying somebody else were male. Take a minute to think about how guys are raised in our culture and compare that to the ways in which girls are raised. The moment a guy starts to show any sign of emotion, he’s told to man up and to stop being a girl.

For girls, it’s encouraged that they speak up about issues that affect them.

For guys, it’s discouraged and so they start to respond with aggressive behaviours, such as bullying, as a way of coping with issues that affect them. This is why guys are more likely than girls to physically attack somebody or to commit crimes. It isn’t something they are born with, it’s a learned behaviour that is actively taught by society using dysfunctional gender norms and roles.

Low Self-Esteem:

In order to mask how they actually feel about themselves, some people who bully focus attention on someone else. They try to avoid any negative attention directed at them by deflecting. But know they might look in the mirror at home and hate the way they look.

There is so much pressure to live up to beauty and fitness standards that we are taught to compare ourselves to others, instead of embracing our own beauty.

They’ve Been Bullied:

Our research shows that those who have experienced bullying are twice as likely to go on and bully others. Maybe they were bullied as kids in the past, or maybe they are being bullied now.

Often it’s used as a defence mechanism and people tend to believe that by bullying others, they will become immune to being bullied themselves. In fact, it just becomes a vicious cycle of negative behaviours.

Difficult Home Life:

1 in 3 of those who bully people daily told us that they feel like their parents/guardians don’t have enough time to spend with them. They are more likely to come from larger families and are more likely to live with people other than their biological parents.

There are often feelings of rejection from the very people who should love them unconditionally. They are also much more likely to come from violent households with lots of arguments and hostility.

Low Access to Education:

Without access to education, hate-based conversation directed at others may be the norm. They may not understand what hate speech is and why speaking about people in a derogatory way is not appropriate.

Relationships:

Finally, those who bully are more likely to feel like their friendships and family relationships aren’t very secure. In order to keep friendships, they might be pressured by their peers to behave in a certain way.

They are more likely to feel like those who are closest to them make them do things that they don’t feel comfortable doing and aren’t very supportive or loving.

man in cap standing in front of a wall featuring art

So there you have it, some of the most common reasons why people bully others.

If you are being bullied, it’s time to put the knowledge to the test. Carry on reading with our article on overcoming bullying. If you are doing the bullying, here are 7 things that you can do to overcome it.

If you are looking for more help – our community is a safe space to discuss your issues and get support from trained digital mentors who will help you without judgement.

Categories
Cyberbullying Mental Health

Cancelling Cancel Culture – Ditch the Label x P. Louise

You’re cancelled. 

‘Cancel culture’ is something we are all familiar with, whether it’s happened to you, or someone you follow in the public eye. For those that don’t know what it is, ‘being cancelled’ refers to the way in which media personalities are called out for mistakes on social media, often made many years ago. But it’s not just one person, and usually results in a digital witch hunt until their career or lives are destroyed or worse. 

Even though cancelling someone might start with good intentions, perhaps to stand up for what is right, or to make people reconsider their mistakes, so often it can end in tragedy. We only need to remember the tragic events that resulted in the death of Caroline Flack, to realise that something has to change in the way we react to the mistakes of those in the public eye.

We want to lead the charge against ‘cancel culture’. That’s why Ditch the Label is thrilled to announce our new partnership with international makeup brand, P. Louise. To kick it off, this is the story of their new collection ‘Cancelled’ from the founder and CEO of P. Louise; Paige. 

Get your hands on the limited edition collection here.

The story of Cancelled – by Paige Louise 

First of all, many people have assumed the collection portrays my own personal mistakes and faults which have been highlighted to the media and the public. The truth is that Cancelled is not about my previous mistakes but cancel culture, cyberbullying and how social media can quickly turn toxic.

I want to make it clear that the release of this collection is not to undermine my past mistakes. In fact, I want to take this chance to apologise again.

I cannot rewind time but I can strive to know better, grow and be better. 

Life is a process of learning and unlearning. Being truly sorry means showing up, even when it makes you uncomfortable. It’s about turning the fear of criticism and disapproval into change – and I am committed to that process. 

Understanding where you go wrong in life and accepting your mistakes is important, but so is shifting your relationship with criticism. I’ve taught myself that it’s important to embrace it – criticism means there’s an opportunity to do more learning and allow for more understanding.

However, the Cancelled collection goes far beyond my personal mistakes and errors. It goes without saying that nobody is perfect, humans in general are a fundamentally flawed species. But ‘cancelling’ someone won’t help them grow and humiliating someone won’t help them become better. 

The detrimental effect that trolling has on people can lead to anxiety, self-doubt and sometimes sadly, even suicide. Comments that you may think are irrelevant, such as what dress a person is wearing or what lipstick shade they’re rocking, can be impactful to a person.

What may not affect you, may affect someone else immensely. 

With Cancelled, I want to highlight that no matter the circumstances you are in, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Together we will tackle cyberbullying and make social media a happy and positive environment, which is why I am thrilled to announce that a percentage of profits made by the Cancelled collection will be going to Ditch the Label, to support those who have been through cyberbullying. 

Love, Paige x

People are human. Media personalities, instagram influencers, celebrities, are human. And humans make mistakes sometimes. We should all have the opportunity to learn from them, grow from them, and educate others on those lessons, and most of us are lucky enough to be able to do that in relative privacy. Those in the public eye do not have that privilege. If we cancel everyone who makes a mistake, all we do is ruin careers and ruin lives. 

We need to cancel our ‘cancel culture’.

Click here to get your hands on the limited edition collection

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