So, your best bud is experiencing their first heartbreak? It might seem like there is literally nothing you can do to help them out of the emotional pit they’ve probably fallen into over the last few days or weeks, but trust us, there is lots you can do to help them get back to their old selves. Give these 9 tips on helping a friend through a break up a whirl, and see if you can get them to crack a smile. Worried about a pal? Get some confidential support from the Ditch the Label Community here.
1) Let them feel what they need to feel
After a breakup, your pal might be pretty emotional. It can be tempting to try to drag them out of it straight away, but they need to feel it and work through these feelings at their own pace. We know you mean well by jumping straight in with an all-singing all-dancing broken heart cure, but give them the space to breathe and adjust to newly single life and they will come around to it much faster.
2) Don’t go on about it all the time
So, letting someone feel what they need to is one thing, asking them about it all the time is another. If they want to talk, that’s cool, but try chatting about other things as well to take their mind off it, if only for ten minutes at a time.
3) Get them out of the house
Get some fresh air and go for a walk somewhere where they won’t run into the ex. Explore the countryside near where you live, head down to the beach, or just go around the shops for an hour or two. Fresh air and exercise are a wonderful thing for a broken heart, and are known to boost serotonin and basically make you feel a lot better about life.
4) Be there if they need you
It might be that talking about your feelings isn’t really your thing, but dealing with them is so much easier when you talk about it. If they decide to strike up a conversation about how they are feeling, listen. We’ve got loads of tips on what do when your mate wants to chat, which you can find here.
5) Maybe steer away from the clichés
Giant box of chocolates? Break-up movies? Barricading yourselves in a room with the Playstation and zero personal hygiene? Try thinking outside the box and break away from the old break-up traditions peddled in rom-coms.
Why not try to convince them to go to the cinema rather watch movies in PJs, a trip to an old school arcade rather than playing Playstation, or out for lunch instead of junk food in bed? All will get them out of the house and help take their mind off it. It’s a lot better than reminding them of what they are going through simply because they are doing all the same stuff that Elle Woods does in Legally Blonde, or Peter in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
6) Get the whole squad together
So they might be your best bud in the group, or maybe you’ve just been through it and know how hard it is. But, don’t feel like you have to handle the whole situation alone. Get the squad together for a few big days out, or tag team with your group so that you get a bit of time for yourself and your life as well. It’s not all on you to help them get over the ex.
7) Don’t rush them
Sometimes, we can feel better for a bit and bump into the ex, or come across their jumper in the laundry, and we can go back to square one. This is so normal, and if your pal suddenly gets a setback and goes from going out all the time to back in their PJs, don’t get mad at them for it. Just remind them how far they have already come and that they can get back to that place again in no time, and that you will be there to help them out when they need it.
8) Be the guardian or their phone/social media
We have all been there. Post break-up and thinking it’s a great idea to send a message to the ex, telling them you miss them, or how great your life is without them in it. Trust us, this is likely to end in some serious regret. So, if they ask you to be the guardian of all messages for a few weeks to stop them doing this through the worst bit, then do it. They probably really trust you to do this, so take it seriously.
9) When they are ready to move on, be the best wing person you can be
You’ve got them through the worst of it. Now for the fun part. Be the best wing person you can be for your newly single buddy, and go out and have some fun. Meet new people, get excited about new relationships together, and get back to enjoying your friendship. You guys are probably as close as The Rock and Kevin Hart by now, and it’s time you both got back out there.
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